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Title: The Touchstones of Our Characters The Touchstones of Our Characters
"Then look again," Rodney told the desk clerk impatiently. The buffet had already begun and he had no intention of wasting any more time on checking in. The best snacks were always gone first. "Sir, I've looked twice. M-C-K-A-Y. It's not here," the young woman said apologetically. "What about Wraith? Maybe it's listed under there," Rodney said. "All attendees are listed under their company name, Mr. McKay," she explained. "It's Doctor McKay and I am a presenter, not just an attendee. Do you want to see my slides and my name on the schedule? Because I can show you those too if my confirmation for the room is not enough to—" "Sir, that won't be necessary," she said, in a calming voice. "Well, good. Then give me my room. Or any room, I'm not picky. Just give me a place where I can freshen up, so I can hit the buffet without having to worry if I'll sleep on the street tonight." "Uh, sir, this is the International Automotive Conference," the desk clerk told him carefully. "Yes, I am aware of that," Rodney said, trying very hard not to shout for someone with half an ounce of a brain, because she was pretty nice all things considered. "There are no free rooms. We've been booked solid for months. Maybe I could see if there are other hotels—" "Oh, nonononono. I am not leaving this place and traveling through half the city and back for the next three days. This was your fault. You fix it." "Hi," someone said from behind him. "I am not finished here. You wait your turn!" Rodney said without looking back. "Not even if I could offer you a room?" Rodney turned around to look straight at the charming smile of a guy with dark unruly hair and no sense of what constituted appropriate business attire. He was wearing dark crumpled jeans, a black jacket over a white shirt and no tie. "And you would be?" Rodney asked, already annoyed by him. "John Sheppard," the guy said, holding out his hand and tilting his head in a way that might be cute if you were shallow enough to fall for that kind of thing. Rodney looked back at the desk clerk who gave the guy, Sheppard, a wide smile. Of course. He gave her a quick glare and turned back to Sheppard, ignoring his hand. "I'm Doctor Rodney McKay. How do you think you can help me?" Sheppard pulled back his outstretched hand. "I have two beds. You can room with me." What?! "I'm sorry, but what on Earth makes you think I'd share a room with a stranger?" Rodney had meant it as a hypothetical question, but Sheppard answered, "All rooms in the city are booked and you don't exactly look like the kind of guy that would sleep in a bunk in a hostel." Rodney's expression turned to pure horror at the mere thought of dormitories. "Listen, I'm sure it wouldn't come to that. This lady was just going to—" He heard a cough from behind him. He turned around and the desk clerk gave him a nervous smile. Oh no. "I'm afraid Mr. Sheppard might be right. You know that the International Automotive Conference is the largest industrial conference in the world. Every year—" Rodney lifted his hand in a stop gesture before she could recite the complete history of the conference. "Are you trying to tell me that I can choose between taking a room in a noisy, overcrowded hostel, probably populated with backpackers, and sharing a room here at the venue?" "Yes, sir." She looked very apologetic, which was the only thing that kept Rodney from shouting down the house for the manager. That and the fact that if he didn't get something to eat soon, he was going to commit murder. He turned around and looked at that Sheppard guy again. Sheppard smiled a Sorry, looks like I'm all you've got smile. Rodney mentally calculated how long it would take him to persuade one of his colleagues to share a room with him. In the end, he very quickly came to the only conclusion. "I'll take your offer if it still stands," he said, trying hard to be polite, because even if other people would disagree, he did have some manners. "It does," Sheppard said with a wide smile and offered his hand again. Rodney wanted to be irritated with him, but as he took Sheppard's hand he found himself shaking his head at the whole situation and smiling back. He stepped aside to let Sheppard check in and as the desk clerk checked his reservation, Sheppard turned to Rodney and suddenly produced a power bar from his ill-fitting jacket. "You look like you could use it," he said with a twinkle in his eyes. Rodney stared at the shiny wrapper in Sheppard's hand. He couldn't remember the last time someone had pampered him like this. Katie always told him what not to eat and brought him macrobiotic something or other. Which reminded him that he'd have to take care to find a room for them for the next day. For now though, he took Sheppard's offer with a quick smile and a "Thank you". He unwrapped the bar and took a large bite. And God, that felt better. Rodney sighed. Sheppard watched him with an amused expression until the desk clerk caught his attention because—Hallelujah!—she'd found their room. ~~ "I'll just freshen up." Rodney took his suitcase into the bathroom as soon as they entered their room. The power bar had helped considerably in making him appreciate Sheppard and his—Rodney had to admit it—generous offer. But he was still a stranger and he wasn't going to leave his suitcase with the guy unsupervised. He got out of his travel suit, freshened up a bit and got into his business suit. God, he hated ties, but they were a must. Well, at least to any normal person. "Who do you work for?" he asked loudly towards the closed door. "What?" came Sheppard's answer. Rodney opened the door, since he wasn't indecent anymore. "Who do you work for?" he repeated his question, then turned his attention to wrestling with his tie. Sheppard's head appeared in the bathroom. "I'm not working for anyone at the moment," he said. Rodney raised an eyebrow. "I'm working on a prototype," Sheppard clarified, which sounded a lot better—if it was true. "For what?" Rodney asked. Then he glared at his obstinate tie in the mirror. "Let me," Sheppard said, stepping into the bathroom. Rodney's eyes widened as Sheppard deftly undid Rodney's pathetic attempt at a knot and tied it expertly with a few moves of his hand. "Done," Sheppard said, resting his hand beneath the knot. He looked up and smiled and Rodney's belly did a weird flip-flop. Rodney's lips parted to say something, but when nothing came out, the smile on Sheppard's face faded into a more intense expression. His gaze dipped from Rodney's eyes down to his mouth. Rodney took a step back. This was... He wasn't the kind of guy who flirted a lot, even if it was just a meaningless flirt at a conference. Katie had once said with a mixture of fondness and resignation that he didn't have a romantic bone in his body. Quickly glancing at Sheppard's lips, he wasn't so sure about that. Then he remembered that his fiancée wouldn't appreciate it if he looked at other people's lips and stumbled out, "Thank you." "You're welcome," Sheppard said with a curt nod and stepped out of the bathroom. Rodney followed. Outside on the desk he saw a modular device propped up on a flat base. He welcomed the distraction. "Is this your prototype?" he asked. He actually hoped it wasn't, because the thing looked like an unfinished model kit. "No," Sheppard said decisively. "I just like to take a little toy or two to conferences to kill the time. It's a liquid propulsion model." Rodney shook his head. He'd built one of these when he was in 8th grade and it had bored him even then. "It's not about propulsion," Sheppard clarified. "It's about the balance between the modules and reaction to different environments. Liquid propulsion is just the easiest way—" "Yeah, yeah," Rodney said, approaching the desk. He'd worked on modular interface architecture himself and could see how such a simple model could still be useful. "How have you implemented the connectors?" "I have all kinds. In this model, mechanical and electromagnetic. I wanted to test the thermodynamic influence of the propulsion." "You haven't shielded the core?" "No, which is kind of the point," Sheppard told him. "Hmm." This was really rather neat. Wraith Enterprises mostly worked with computer simulations and Rodney wasn't against that, but he missed the feel of actual machines and looking at what Sheppard had done, he had to admit that simulations of the same experimental setup would be unnecessarily complex and much harder to handle than this little live model. He smiled. Sheppard smiled back. "So what do you think? Gas or liquid insulation?" "Vacuum," Rodney said without thinking. "No," Sheppard said, shaking his head. Rodney looked affronted. "Yes, I'm telling you vacuum—" "Yes, I know, but it's not feasible in this case. Let's for the sake of argument assume I could only choose between gas and liquid insulation. What would you suggest?" "Well, that depends on about a million things," Rodney answered. "Start with the first," Sheppard prompted. Rodney wasn't sure if this guy was for real, but this was kind of fun. "Scale," he said. "Are we staying—hypothetically—at this size," he pointed at the model, "or could it be the size of the Chrysler building?" "Let's say not larger than this room," Sheppard said. "What kind of vehicle? Ground, aquatic, flight? Space?" "Underwater," Sheppard said without missing a beat. "You want me to hypothesize on insulation of a liquid fuel core for a submarine?!" "Okay, let's say a vehicle half the size of this room, cylindric, with both underwater and flight capabilities and an unspecified propulsion system. How would you deal with aerodynamic versus hydrodynamic influences?" Sheppard shot out the question with a gleam in his eyes. "First of all, I wouldn't try to build a flying submarine," Rodney pointed out, "but if I were to build it... well, no horizontal flat front surface, that's for sure." Sheppard smiled. "Obviously." Rodney tried to imagine the vehicle. "What kind of wings does it have?" "Two meters, retractable," Sheppard said, making a face as if he knew that wouldn't work. Which it really wouldn't. "Forget it," Rodney said. "There isn't any more space," Sheppard said and he almost sounded as if he'd tried. "Well, then make the whole thing larger, because you might as well try to steer it with your mind. Unless..." Rodney trailed off as an idea occurred to him. "That 'unspecified propulsion system'? What's the unit size? Is it modular or built together with the energy source?" "Why?" Sheppard asked carefully. "If it were small enough and modular, I'd simply say take two and put one on each side with the wings." Sheppard jumped up, eyes widening. "That would mean enough control—" "If you can get the same thrust, which was why I was asking—" "You're a genius, Rodney," Sheppard said, putting his hands on Rodney's shoulder. "That's what I keep saying, but people hesitate to agree," Rodney said, justifiably smug. Sheppard looked... exhilarated. His eyes were shining with happiness and his mouth was slightly opened and in a half-smile as if he couldn't believe his luck. He looked as if he could kiss Rodney. At that thought, Rodney's belly did another flip-flop. He waited for Sheppard to move, unsure how he should push him away—or maybe if. In the end Sheppard squeezed his shoulders and removed his hands to run one through his hair. Rodney pretended that he wasn't even a bit disappointed by that. He had to get a grip of himself. A little harmless flirt at a conference might be forgivable, but he was sharing a room with this guy and they stood about four feet away from a convenient bed, which made thoughts about kissing, however idle they may be, potentially not harmless. He reminded himself that he had a wonderful fiancée who was going to join him tomorrow. Then this strange episode would be over and Rodney could go on with his normal life without thoughts about soft lips and rakish hair— He had to stop. They were just talking about vehicle design. That was all. His mind returned to the question, his solution and Sheppard's reaction. "Have I just single-handedly given you the break-through for your prototype?" Rodney asked quickly. It was pretty obvious to him that this wasn't Sheppard's prototype because no company in their right mind would build such a thing. The only one that had tried, for reasons that Rodney couldn't fathom, had failed and continued to fail to make it work. But it did seem to mean a lot to Sheppard. "Not quite," Sheppard said. "But I'm very impressed with you." Rodney preened. He was a genius, but he seldom heard people say it to him, much less mean it. Sheppard hesitated for a moment, then said, "I'd like to work with you." It sounded like a confession and Rodney felt flattered and actually more than that, he was excited by the idea. Sheppard could think outside the box, that much was clear. Rodney couldn't tell how great his ideas were—crazy flying submarines aside—or how good Sheppard would be at implementing them, but he was smart and they could always use people like that at Wraith. "Well, you're looking for a job, aren't you?" "Actually..." Sheppard began uncertainly. "You could apply at Wraith," Rodney suggested. "I couldn't promise that we'd work together. I don't know enough about your qualifications and background, but from what I do know, we could definitely use you." Sheppard's face fell. "I'm not going to work for Wraith," he said flatly. "Why not? Is that because of certain media outlets? I know what they write, but don't you think that 'Suck them out and leave them to die' is hyperbole? I personally know of neither sucking nor dying," Rodney joked, but Sheppard looked at him sharply. "Listen," Rodney continued, sobering. "I know that the reputation that Wraith has as an employer is... let's say not exactly flattering, but I can assure it's not as bad from the inside. The health care plan is okay and the pay is what you deserve. Are there layoffs? It happens, but if you've really got it here," he tapped at his head, "and I think you do, you'll have a career there." "I don't want a career there," Sheppard said, apparently unwilling to even consider it, which annoyed Rodney because it was unscientific not to consider all possible options. "You don't even know what you could do there," he said impatiently. "They could give you your own lab and—" "Rodney, I do know!" Sheppard shouted in his face. "I worked there." "Oh." Rodney didn't quite know what to say to that. He knew of some ex-employees that bad-mouthed Wraith, but in Rodney's experience, those were idiots who'd deserved being fired. "And I'm not going back there. Ever." Sheppard swallowed and looked away. Rodney had no idea what might have happened to Sheppard, but it was clear to him that this was more than anger over being fired. Sheppard seemed absolutely resolved not to return. Rodney was disappointed by that. He also felt unease about the history between Sheppard and Wraith Enterprises. He liked Sheppard, but he was a loyal employee and right now he wasn't sure if he wanted to know what exactly had occurred to make Sheppard feel this way about Wraith. Not that Sheppard particularly looked like he wanted to share that story. "Okay," Rodney said. "I accept that." Sheppard nodded in acknowledgement. An awkward silence spread between them. "How about Pegasus, Inc.?" Rodney blurted out as soon as he'd thought of it. Sheppard's eyes widened a bit in surprise. "They're not nearly as large as Wraith, but that might suit you. And the owner is rumored to be an idealistic billionaire. They're big on feeling like a family as a corporate concept. He's also somewhat eccentric from what I've been told. Your flying submarine idea is right up their alley." Which was to say they were the ones who'd given it a try. In all honesty, the most charitable thing that Rodney could say about Pegasus, Inc. was that they were a bunch of old-fashioned and smart dreamers. But he got the feeling that this was exactly the kind of guy that Sheppard was. "You think?" Sheppard said and Rodney was glad to see him smiling again. "I might even be able to help you get a foot in the door," Rodney added. "How?" "I happen to be friends with their lead project manager, Radek Zelenka. He's here this weekend—" Rodney suddenly remembered the buffet and that he'd just wanted to change. "He's here now! I completely forgot about how hungry I was. Come on, I can introduce you to him." Sheppard looked a bit perplexed. "Uh, okay. Let's go, I guess." Rodney gave him a look and a once over. "What?" Sheppard said, looking down his body. "That's how you want to go down there?" Rodney asked with a raised eyebrow. "I'll stun them with my intellect," Sheppard said with an overly confident smirk. "O-kay," Rodney said. For Sheppard's sake, he hoped he was right. Sheppard seemed without a care now, the talk about Wraith forgotten. He put a hand on Rodney's shoulder as they left the room and on their way out, the hand moved lightly down Rodney's back. It sent a shiver down Rodney's spine that lasted even after Sheppard's hand had dropped to his side as they walked down the hall to the elevator. ~~ Rodney saw with some relief that the buffet tables were still well supplied. He glanced around the room to see which table would be best suited for his first plate, when he spotted Radek. "There he is," he said, tapping his hand against Sheppard's chest. Sheppard looked up and looked a little less at ease, which was only appropriate in Rodney's opinion. Rodney walked over to his friend. He only ever saw Radek at conferences, but they exchanged emails now and then and he was always happy to see him and discuss the state of their industry—and by discuss he meant disagree a lot, but in a way that never failed to amuse him. "Project lead at Pegasus, Inc.," Rodney continued as they crossed the large room. "Maybe he can get you an interview with the boss. And certainly he can talk to you, check your basic credentials. Maybe it's better if you get Radek on your side first. I've never met the owner of Pegasus, but the guy has made some pretty whacked decisions. That Ferris wheel outside is his. I mean, seriously. Ferris wheels! What could be more archaic?" "Steamboats?" Sheppard asked. Rodney laughed. "Better not suggest it. He might make you build one." He turned towards Radek, once they were close enough not to draw the attention of the whole room. "Radek," he called. "It's good to see that Pegasus, Inc. hasn't closed its doors yet." Radek glared at him. "You are still working at Wraith, I hear. How many competitors have you crushed since we last met?" he said, but there was a smile playing on his lips. His gaze turned to Sheppard. "Oh, you've—" "John Sheppard," Sheppard said, stretching out his hand. Radek looked a bit confused, but took it. "I met him at the reception desk," Rodney explained. "They messed up my reservation, can you believe it? And apparently there's no free room in all of Atlantis City and he offered me a bed." Radek's gaze moved between him and Sheppard. "Not his!" Rodney quickly clarified. "There are two beds. Two." He held up his hand and stretched out two fingers. "I see," Radek said, though it sounded a bit doubtful. Rodney flushed. "Sheppard's looking for a job," he quickly said. "He is?" Radek asked, eyebrows shooting up in surprise. Which, okay, was a bit weird, then again the buffet before the conference was generally not used for recruitment. "He is a..." Rodney turned to Sheppard. "What are you exactly?" "Uhm, I have a PhD in Engineering Physics," Sheppard said to Rodney's slight surprise. "And Applied Mathematics," he added to Rodney's astonishment. "Wow, that's... I also have two PhDs," Rodney said, slightly put out. He hated competition, especially when he didn't expect it and this was completely unexpected. He had noticed that Sheppard was very intelligent, but this went a bit beyond being able to think outside the box. Rodney wasn't under the illusion that having a doctorate was actual proof of higher intelligence—he'd met too many morons with PhDs—but it meant that Sheppard's ideas had a solid foundation and weren't quite as out there as Rodney had half suspected. His disappointment that Sheppard wouldn't work with him went up a notch or two. However, it made him feel better about introducing him to Radek. If Sheppard got the job, which seemed like a no-brainer to Rodney, Rodney could always claim to have facilitated that union. "Tell him about your prototype," Rodney said, realizing that he still didn't know what exactly it was and that he was really interested. "Why don't I let you two catch up and Doctor Zelenka and I will agree to talk at the Pegasus booth tomorrow. If you have the time," he said in Radek's direction. "Yes," Radek said, just a bit hesitant, which made Rodney roll his eyes. After Sheppard had disappeared, Rodney said, "You should count yourself lucky I introduced him to you. I find it hard to believe that even half of your employees are as qualified as he is. He might even be smarter than you." Radek glared at him and sighed. "Let us not talk about John. How are your latest projects going?" "You know very well that I can't talk about that," Rodney said, while in the back of his mind there was a little nagging of annoyance that Radek called Sheppard "John". They talked about recent publications instead, switching between vocal disagreement and joint ridicule of others. Rodney enjoyed their discourse so much that he forgot the buffet over it, until his stomach informed him that he really needed to eat something. "If you'll excuse me, Radek. I've only eaten a power bar so far this evening and the food on the plane was good, but unfortunately not plenty. So I'll just hit—" That was when a full plate materialized in front of him. He looked up the arm that was holding it and it belonged to none other than a smiling John Sheppard. "I hope you like this. I took a bit of everything." "I, uh. I like pretty much anything, so long as it doesn't have any citrus in it. I'm deathly allergic to citrus." "There is no citrus in it," Sheppard said without hesitation. "Seriously, Sheppard, deathly allergic," Rodney said, because that answer included far too little shock and hasty checking of the plate for Rodney's taste. "Seriously, McKay. What do you think could have citrus?" Sheppard asked, looking pointedly at the plate. Rodney took it carefully as if lemons could suddenly jump up from it. You could never be too careful. He looked over and it seemed safe enough. "They sometimes put lemon on—" "It was on the fish, which I didn't get. This is fine." "Hmm," Rodney said, finishing his check. "Okay. Uhm, thank you. That was very, uh, thoughtful of you, Sheppard." "John," Sheppard said. "And you're welcome." "Huh?" "Please call me John," Sheppard clarified. A small smile played on his lips, but Rodney could see that his request was earnest. "Right. John," Rodney said and found himself flushing for no good reason at all. ~~ Rodney wasn't exactly good at small talk, but he loved to talk, especially with people who had a modicum of intelligence and John wasn't just smart, he had a sense of humor and was amused instead of offended by Rodney's uncensored remarks about their industry and the world at large. They talked and laughed and made their way to the buffet tables a few times and as John contemplated what to get next, making a scrunchy face as if that required a lot of thought, Rodney watched his profile, a fond smile playing on his face. Rodney had only very limited patience for other people's flaws but so far, the only thing that he didn't like about John was that he wouldn't consider working for Wraith. Even his terrible taste in movies was amusing to Rodney rather than annoying, because John's eyes were shining when he defended the so-called science and talked about just how cool it would be if it were possible. His enthusiasm was even greater when they talked about actual science and Rodney saw a love for their profession that went straight to his own heart. This conference looked to be the best one he ever attended and it hadn't even officially begun. All evening, Rodney had managed to avoid more than casual greetings with other attendees, but when Kavanagh and Lee, also physicists at Wraith, spotted him and looked determined to talk about the latest nonsense project of theirs, Rodney started looking for a hiding place. John raised one eyebrow, then grinned and suggested a getaway. They collected a plate full of various desserts and quickly made their way out of the large buffet room. It was dark outside by then. They caught their breath in the hall, grinning conspiratorially and looking out through the large glass walls. The lights were giving the exterior area an almost festive look. John's face had a dreamy expression. "Let me guess? You love the Ferris wheel," Rodney teased, watching the large lit structure at the center of the exhibition outside. "I bet you can see all of Atlantis City from the top," he said, turning to Rodney with a smile that made Rodney's heart skip a beat. "Uh," Rodney said, utterly unable to respond. When he looked at John it was as if he saw him stretching out a hand and offering a whole new world, which was entirely ridiculous because John had done nothing but help him out with a place to crash for the night and talked to him. Two days from now they'd part ways and maybe—and it was a big maybe—they'd correspond afterwards like he and Radek did, but Rodney would return to his world and whatever happened here this weekend would be nothing but a memory. A memory of a kind stranger and a lovely evening and nothing else because the imaginary offer of anything was just insane. What was even more insane though was that he wanted to reach out his own hand and take the offer. He turned to look out of the window because he couldn't take the expression of wonder of John's face. "Do you want to take a ride?" John asked. Rodney didn't turn to him, but he could feel John's hand on his arm and swallowed. "It's not in operation," he said. "I'm sure I can find a way to get us on board," John said and it was crazy, but Rodney could feel the smile on his face without turning. "I should go to bed. Take another look at my presentation," he said and with a quick look at John's fading smile, walked away. "What's it going to be about?" John asked, walking up beside him. "Interoperability of discrete technical units," Rodney answered, still walking quickly. "Will you have a live demo?" John asked, keeping up with him. Rodney glanced over, slowing down. "I hadn't planned on it. It's a theoretical—" "You can have my model," John said. "In my experience, demonstrating with an example is much better than just talking. Especially for more abstract theories. It's Show and Tell for grown-ups," he added with a twinkle in his eyes. Rodney couldn't help but grin. John seemed quite excited about the idea. And Rodney had to admit that he had a point. Even if there were many things that Rodney could say about people who couldn't grasp a hypothesis without a concrete example and about not catering to idiots. "Even if I wanted to do a demonstration," he decided to say, "I'm not sure if the room's equipped for it." "You're in the Asgard room, right?" John asked. "Uh, yes," Rodney said, surprised that John would know it by heart when he hadn't even mentioned it. There were after all several dozen presentations. Before he could ask however, John grabbed his arm and dragged him down the hall into a deserted corridor. It was pretty dark and Rodney could feel his face heating up at the thought of what they could do here without being seen. Then he realized John had taken them to the back of the Asgard room. John let go of his arm and Rodney tried to calm down and not think about being pushed back against the wall and— He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, clearing his mind. When he opened them again, John was working on the door. "What are you doing?" Rodney asked. John just grinned at him. "Are you crazy?! You can't break in there! First of all I doubt that their security measures are so lax that anyone—" He stopped abruptly when the door swung open. "How did you...?" John gave him an inviting look and when Rodney still hesitated, he took his arm again and pulled him inside. "We really shouldn't," Rodney voiced a token protest, but once inside, he looked around intrigued. He'd never been here when it wasn't full of people waiting for the next presentation and hotel and conference personnel making last preparations and being ready to assist should the need arise. It was quiet and dark, save for the emergency lights. John climbed the stairs to the stage and to the backstage area. Rodney followed him, stopping to stand at the podium. He imagined the ranks full of people only waiting for him to speak. It was a bit of a rush, but then reality kicked in and he remembered that this was just a conference and not an award ceremony. He heard John rustling behind the scene and then a loud "Hey Rodney!" The room was suddenly lit up and John's giant head floated in the middle below the ceiling. Rodney gasped, then glared in direction of the backstage area, where John appeared with the holoprojection receptor pointed at his head. "What are you? Twelve?" Rodney asked him. "That was nothing. Hold it and point it at me." John gave him the receptor, then stood and looked at the ceiling, lifting up one fist above him. Rodney rolled his eyes, but obediently captured John with the receptor and then switched the output so that the hologram was turned and it looked like a giant John—or at least half of him—was flying through the room. "Damn, I need a cape," John said. Rodney pulled the receptor away. "You need a brain." "Do you want to try it?" John asked, not waiting for an answer before he pulled the device from Rodney's hand. "We do actually have a holoprojector at Wraith," Rodney said. "As you should know," he added, regretting it immediately when John's face darkened for a moment. John seemed to shake it off though, his expression brightening. "But I bet you never play around with it." He pointed the receptor at Rodney and Rodney's slightly exasperated expression was projected to the top of the room, looking down at them. "I always seem to be out of capes when I'm at work," Rodney said sarcastically. "It's all in your imagination, Rodney. Ever heard of it? You should try it some time," John goaded. Rodney's mind was flooded with images of him and John, larger than life, flying, close, closer and then not so much flying as gliding against each other. He could see his giant projected face flushing, which made it even worse. "A million for your thoughts," John offered, looking fascinated. "My thoughts are worth much more than that," Rodney managed in a rough voice, trying to calm enough for his face to cool down. "And your fantasies?" John asked. Rodney shot John a look and imagined the body beneath the jacket and the jeans. "Priceless," he said, meaning it much more than he should. He averted his gaze and after a moment his giant head disappeared from the room and out of the corner of his eye, he saw John approaching him. Before he could get too close, Rodney said rather formally, "I guess I can use your model then for the presentation." John stopped. Rodney went on. "You're right, I think it will be helpful. I don't really expect too many people. The theoretical track isn't the best visited one. I'll be glad if the room is half full. And of those coming only a handful will actually be able to follow the presentation. The rest will probably not even bother to listen. Your model might help with that," he babbled. "I'll listen," John said with a quiet determination and Rodney looked at him and knew that it was true, that John would sit in the first row and look up at him and smile and smirk and understand. He got Rodney and it wasn't just the science, it was understanding where Rodney was coming from, what excited him. It was the food that he'd brought him and staging an escape when his annoying colleagues approached them. It was appealing to the kid in Rodney that might have always wanted to fly and it was turning the adult in Rodney inside out in ways that nobody had before. Rodney had never in his life met anyone like John Sheppard. It shook him to the core. "Rodney?" John asked. "It's about modularizing components to improve the interoperability of systems," Rodney said, because science was the one thing that he was sure about at the moment. "We, both Wraith and everyone else in the industry, are increasingly forced to integrate our components with external units. A general approach to deal with the problem is necessary to facilitate easy integration of old and new external technology," he recited by heart. John looked thoughtful and serious. "You mean integrating the technology of the companies Wraith took over?" There they were again. "Yes," Rodney said. "Not just that, but yes, for Wraith, that is the most valuable aspect of this project." "No, it's not," John said matter-of-factly. Rodney was confused, because he had assumed that that was what John had wanted him to admit. "Wraith doesn't want to integrate anyone's technology. They don't merge companies with their own. They take them over. They cull them from existence." Rodney looked away. He didn't want to listen to John's accusations, especially since they came from the heart. "Rodney, you have to know what they're doing. When has a product from a competitor that Wraith bought ever made it into their product line? When was a project from someone else ever allowed to survive?" Rodney wanted to defend Wraith. He wanted to say that the reason that they discontinued products from the companies they bought was only because they had serious design flaws. And projects didn't make it to the Wraith labs, because they already existed in similar form. But the truth was Rodney knew that John was right, at least in part. He'd heard others, within Wraith, say the same thing and he himself had asked about a promising project only to be told that it was put on the back burner. They had done what John accused them of and that made it hard for Rodney to defend them, even if he didn't necessarily agree with John's sentiments as a whole. "Leave them, Rodney," John said, his voice no longer accusing, but bright and hopeful. "Work with me. We can build amazing things together. We can change the world together." Just half an hour ago, Rodney had felt as if John had offered him a new life and now he did. He was offering Rodney a chance to leave his old life behind him. Rodney imagined it for a moment. The excitement of working on something that was limited only by your own imagination and not company policy. Working together with John. Being with John. It was like a dream. It was a dream. "I can't," he said. "Why not?" John asked. "'Why not?'" Rodney repeated incredulously. "I have a responsibility to Wraith and my team," he began. "Wraith will do fine without you and your team will survive," John countered. "But what about me? I think it's wonderful that you have all of these ideas, but they won't pay the rent. I'm not an idealist. I build vehicles. It's what I do and it's what I'm good at. It's like that owner of Pegasus, Inc. He has those fancy ideas and builds Ferris wheels while the rest of us actually live in the real world." "Rodney. I—" "No, John," Rodney stopped him because now that he'd started he had to finish or he might not do it all and he had to because he couldn't give in to this fancy. "I can't tell my landlord, 'Sorry, I won't be able to pay the rent because I had to buy components for our prototype.' I like being able to know that at the end of the month I'll get a not inconsequential amount of money in my bank account. And what am I going to tell my fiancée when she asks what I'm going to do with my life now?" Because he knew Katie, knew that she wouldn't understand it. "Fiancée?" John asked, frowning. Rodney averted his gaze. "Yes, I... I'm engaged." "I didn't know," John said. Rodney looked up at him, but John was gazing at the ground now. "Of course not," Rodney said. "I didn't mention it." John looked up and his eyes narrowed in determination. "You think she wouldn't want you if you were working for a company that cared about what they did?" "You mean like Pegasus? John, I'm not like you. Wraith has been good to me. They offer me security and a good career and that's what I want to offer my future wife." "I see," John said, not hiding his bitterness. "Who cares about dealing with the devil when it's much more convenient to turn a blind eye and take his money?" "What have they done to you to make you feel that way?" Rodney asked, because even for an idealist John seemed to take his fight against Wraith awfully personal. John looked away. "We should lock up and go," he said, turning around. Rodney followed him wordlessly. ~~ There was an awkward silence between them as they walked towards the elevator. Rodney wanted to say something to make it better, but he didn't know what. He couldn't apologize because he hadn't done anything wrong. There was nothing wrong with being a realist. And as much as he liked John, which was far too much really, he thought he was paranoid when it came to Wraith. In front of the elevator, neither of them pressed the button. They stood in silence until Rodney had enough and lifted his hand—only to be stopped by John taking hold of his wrist. "Let's not go to bed angry," John said and the first tentative smile since their fight played on his lips. "Yeah," Rodney said. "We shouldn't go to bed—" Suddenly he realized what he was saying and flushed. "I mean... Not go to bed obviously as in sleeping... together. Because we wouldn't." "Right. You're engaged," John said and maybe it was Rodney's imagination, but there was regret in his voice. "Exactly," Rodney said, although he'd never felt further from Katie than now and it had nothing to do with the physical distance between them. "Let's get a drink at the bar," John suggested. Rodney nodded and followed John. They each ordered a beer and sat together in silence for a while. Rodney wondered what it was like to be like John, to be so full of passion for something that was rooted in belief and ideals. It occurred to him that he still didn't know what John's prototype was. "So what is your dream?" Rodney asked. John looked over to him and for a moment his gaze wandered over Rodney's face. "I have many dreams," he said and Rodney had the feeling that one of those dreams had to do with him and it made him both happy and sad. "But the prototype I'm working on is a device that extracts vacuum energy from subspace." Rodney blinked. "Zero-point energy?" John looked weary, but nodded. "You really are a dreamer," Rodney said, because what John was suggesting was pretty much impossible. "At least this makes your flying submarine sound pretty sane," he added with a smile. He looked at John and moved closer until their arms touched. Eventually John smiled back. ~~ The walk back to their room was quiet but relaxed. Rodney prepared for bed first while John modified his model for Rodney's presentation. When he was ready, Rodney felt a bit self-conscious in his plain cream-colored pajamas. John gave him a quirky smile and looked up and down Rodney's body ostentatiously. "Oh, shut up," Rodney said. John grinned. "Did I say a word?" He got up from the desk and disappeared in the bathroom. Rodney took his place and took a look at the model, figuring out when best to use it during his presentation. A short while later he heard the bathroom door open. Rodney turned around to treat John with the same mocking once over, but when he saw John, he froze. John was wearing nothing but blue-striped boxer shorts. He had a hairy chest and well, pretty much hairy everything, but it was not unattractive, not at all. It was hot. Rodney wanted to stand up and run his hand through the hair and over John's body and— His gaze shot up to John's face and he could feel himself flushing. John wasn't smirking or looking seductive. He looked like a man who knew exactly what he was doing to Rodney, but who also knew that they couldn't do this. Rodney recognized the hint of regret in his eyes. And he felt more than a hint in his own heart. He turned back to the model. John closed the door to the bathroom and came up to the desk. Rodney could feel his presence behind him. "Don't stay up too long," John said and put a hand on Rodney's shoulder for a moment, before pulling away and going to bed. Rodney switched off the model and the light. He knew that he wouldn't be able to concentrate now anyway. He slipped under the covers of his bed. "Good night," John said. A bit of light came through the curtain and Rodney could see that he was lying on his back, but had his head turned toward Rodney. "Good night," Rodney answered. It was strange. Just a few hours ago he'd arrived for yet another boring conference and now he felt as if that had been a lifetime ago in a different life. Only it wasn't. He was still the same Rodney McKay. He was still Chief Scientific Project Manager at Wraith Enterprises. And he was still engaged to Katie Brown. Katie would arrive tomorrow and Rodney had a hard time imagining how to face her. Their relationship had never been one of great passion, but she was smart and pretty and the sweetest person one could imagine. She was the kind of person he'd always imagined he'd marry—or maybe the back-up dream of the smart hot blond that was his number one fantasy. When he'd asked her to marry him a few weeks ago, he'd done it because he thought she was the best thing that had ever happened to him on a personal level. It was so much harder to believe that with John Sheppard lying only a few feet away. Rodney turned on his side away from John and looked through the gap between the curtains. John had offered him a new life today and Rodney had rejected his offer. He felt regret. He was attracted to John in a way he hadn't experienced in a long time if ever. But there had been no other option. Rodney was no dreamer. He took a situation, analyzed it and acted according to his analysis. That was what had gotten him so far at Wraith Enterprises. That was what had made him ask Katie to marry him. And that was what would get him through this weekend. Being with John was a dream that would last no more than forty-eight hours. Tomorrow he'd wake up and see John and they'd have breakfast and maybe go to the presentations together. Maybe they'd steal a few minutes outside and he could imagine John dragging him onto that Ferris wheel, but then Katie would arrive and he'd pretend that he wanted her and he'd obediently smile at her as he always did and let her tell him what to wear and how to look and when he gave his presentation he'd look at John, but go to Katie when it was over. Maybe he'd introduce the two of them and it would be awkward though Katie wouldn't notice, because she was too nice for that. They'd have lunch together and when the conference was over, he'd tell John, "Nice to have met you," and they'd exchange email addresses, even though Rodney knew full well that he'd never contact John or answer him, because trying to live out your dreams could only end in disaster. Unless you were the owner Pegasus, Inc., he thought bitterly. For the rest of the world, reality would have to be enough. And his reality lay with Wraith and Katie. ~~ "Hey." Rodney heard John's voice and mumbled a reply. "Rodney, wake up," he heard next and then a hand was shaking his shoulder. Rodney opened his eyes. Leaning over him was a damp John Sheppard. He was dressed in black pants, but his torso was still bare. "What time is it?" Rodney asked, trying to wake up and not let John's hairy chest get to him. "Twenty to nine," John said. Rodney sat up abruptly. "What?! Why the hell didn't they call me? Oh wait. I didn't place a wake-up call, did I?" John shook his head. "Not that I can remember. Come on, buddy. Shower's free. If you hurry up, we can still get some breakfast." Rodney stumbled out of bed and to his suitcase, which was still unpacked. He tore open the zipper and got out a set of clothes which he hoped actually made a complete ensemble. When he entered the bathroom, John was shaving. "I wasn't done yet," he said. "I wasn't sure how long you'd take, but after I took the shower I figured you'd forgotten to set your alarm." "Yes, right," Rodney said, momentarily distracted by the sight of John with a razor and shaving cream. It should bother him that he'd yet to see John doing anything that wasn't either sexy or endearing or admirable, because he was pretty damn sure that wasn't so much John, but him. But right now he really didn't have the time to freak out about this some more. Besides, he'd come to terms with this last night. Pretending that he wasn't attracted to John would be stupid—and completely futile. So Rodney decided to be okay with it, maybe even more than okay, as long as he kept in mind that he was working for Wraith and engaged to Katie. He wasn't going to dramatically run off with John. But flirting, daydreaming and drooling over him was okay. As would be getting naked apparently, because instead of waiting for John to finish, Rodney unbuttoned his pajama top. He looked more or less inconspicuously into the mirror to see John's reaction. John's hand faltered on his neck and his eyes met Rodney's in the mirror, before he continued shaving, glancing at Rodney now and then. Rodney didn't tend to be an exhibitionist—to the contrary—but the idea that John might appreciate his body the way Rodney appreciated John's was inviting. He took a deep breath, turned towards the shower and got out of his pajama bottoms. He stood like that for a second, then looked over his shoulder, satisfied that John had given up all pretense of shaving and had turned to stare at his ass. Rodney smiled and stepped into the shower. He quickly cleaned himself, feeling masculine pride at John's appreciative look. He was still smiling when he opened the shower door to get a towel. "Need help with that?" John asked. Rodney stuck his head out and saw John standing in the doorway, buttoning up a white shirt and smirking. "I think I'll manage," Rodney said and tugged on the towel, not quite brave enough to actually display all his goods in front of John. It was a fine line. He tied the towel around his hip and stepped out of the shower. John gave him a once over and left no doubt that he liked what he saw. Rodney felt the glow of the morning after, even if in this case there hadn't been a night before. For a second, he imagined this as an illicit affair, sneaking out to have sex with another man and in the morning they'd look just like this before they'd return to their spouses. Rodney shook his head. John seemed to inspire a very wide and strange set of fantasies in him. "What?" John asked. "What time is it?" Rodney asked instead of answering. John checked his watch. "We have a bit over ten minutes." Oh, boy. No time for fantasies about cheating on a wife he didn't even have yet. This reminded him. "Oh, I should call the reception to ask them to find another room for today." "You can stay here," John said immediately. Of course he could. "For me and Katie," Rodney clarified. "My fiancée will arrive this afternoon." A shadow passed over John's eyes and Rodney wondered why he couldn't have met him a few years ago when he was still single and when John was still working at Wraith. It would have been perfect. "I see," John said. "You know what? Let me take care of that. I'll call the front desk while you," he gave Rodney another once over, "get dressed." Rodney regretted when John moved out of sight. A part of him would have loved to get dressed in front of John. And maybe he still could. He quickly dried the lower half of his body and stepped into his boxers. Then he went outside like that to get his electric razor. John looked up from where he was at the phone. "Just one moment," he said into the receiver. He gave Rodney a heated, but also slightly reproachful look and Rodney tilted his head, grinned and disappeared back into the bathroom. God, it felt good to be wanted. He shaved and by the time he was done, John was back in the doorway. They exchanged a look and Rodney started dressing in front of him, sticking his ass out a bit more than was necessary to pull up his pants. When he put on his shirt, John joined him and helped him button it up. They slowed down to make it last. There was an intimacy about it that wasn't unlike a kiss. When he put the tie around his neck, Rodney didn't even try to tie it, but immediately removed his hands to let John handle it. John did it with careful deliberation and through it all their gazes met again and again. When John was done, his hand still on the tie, their gazes locked, Rodney briefly wondered if kissing could be considered just an extreme part of flirting. But then he was honest with himself and acknowledged that if he kissed John, it wouldn't end there. "How much time do we have left?" Rodney asked quietly. John kept looking at him intensely for a long moment before checking his watch. "Five minutes," he said. "Let's go," Rodney said. He gathered his jacket and what else he needed and this time when they stepped outside it was Rodney's hand on John's back. ~~ "'is is goo'", Rodney said around the croissant in his mouth. John smiled at him and put a chocolate muffin from his own plate onto Rodney's. "'ank you," Rodney said. He wondered how much food he could inconspicuously smuggle into the main room. He quickly swallowed the rest of the croissant and gulped down the last dregs of his coffee. "Okay, breathe," John said, looking amused, but also slightly concerned. "I can't. We have," Rodney checked his watch, "about thirty seconds!" "The world won't end if we don't get there on time," John pointed out. "Please, I don't want to be one of those slackers that just come here to eat and socialize," Rodney said disdainfully. John gave him a look. "I don't!" Rodney said defensively. "Damn it, we have to go." He got up from the table, picking up a few stray bits of croissant from his plate and packing up the muffin from John in a napkin. Suddenly he felt John's hand on his face. "You have... crumbs," John said, wiping next to his mouth and then licking the crumbs off his finger. Rodney stared at him and half wished that John had crumbs on his face as well. Then he remembered where he was and looked around. A few people were still enjoying their breakfast and there was only a young man in hotel uniform that looked at them with a smirk. Rodney glared at him, stuffed the packed muffin in his pocket and walked towards the entrance of the main room. "Rodney, wait," John said. Rodney turned around and was immediately pulled aside by John. "Let's skip the stupid welcome industry pep talk." "Those are my bosses speaking," Rodney reminded John. "I know," John said, eyebrows narrowing for a moment. Then he piped up, "All the more reason not to go. You'll already know what they're going to say." "John, I can't just—" "Why not? You're mainly here to give your presentation, which will be brilliant, and don't tell me listening to Bob and Steve will be in any way shape or form beneficial to you or Wraith." "They're not the only ones speaking in the main session," Rodney pointed out. "So you're really interested in hearing about 'addressing the needs of a new generation of customers' or a speech about 'the technical challenges our industry faces today' given by a CEO, who wouldn't recognize a truck if it ran him over?" John goaded him. Rodney couldn't deny that he was right. He'd never gotten anything out of the general session at a conference, apart from the personal notes he'd scribbled down while the speakers droned on. Still, colleagues from Wraith and all the competition that mattered were here and he couldn't just drink coffee with John. And God, he certainly couldn't go up to their room with him and do... other things. "What... what did you have in mind?" he asked. John smiled brightly as if he'd already won—which, okay, he probably had, damn him. "Come with me," he said, put a hand around Rodney's wrist and dragged him away. "You can't—" Rodney began to protest, but he was already moving and a look back confirmed that nobody was paying them attention—except for the young hotel employee who grinned at him. Rodney stumbled and walked faster until he was side by side with John. "You can let go now," he said, still indignant at being manhandled like that. John removed his hand but let it slide around to the small of Rodney's back, pushing him lightly. They walked past the elevators that led back to their rooms and Rodney felt the slightest pang of disappointment, even if he wouldn't have actually gone back upstairs with John. Or maybe he would have but only to talk or hang out. Remember Katie, he told himself. After John had led him to the other side of the large entrance area of the hotel, Rodney began to stop thinking about what they wouldn't be doing and began to wonder where the hell John was taking them. When he saw the large banner that proclaimed Underwater drive—Aquatic vehicles of the future he faltered. "Oh no." "It's going to be fun," John said with a grin, pulling Rodney along by the sleeve of his jacket. Right, fun. Rodney wasn't a particular fan of aquatic vehicles, at least not outside safe and dry theories and computer simulations. He resisted as John dragged him into the huge pool area, where marine companies had their latest models on display. There were only a few people here, preparing for the later exhibition. Most vehicles were locked, on the surface or under water. "So what do you want to show me?" Rodney asked, not hiding his lack of enthusiasm. He really didn't see anything he would consider fun. John pulled him along the edge of the pool, past the majority of the vehicles on display. When they were approaching the far end of the pool and John didn't slow down, realization dawned on Rodney. "Oh no. Nonononono. No way, no how," he said, stopping and digging his heels in just before the changing room. John stopped. "What? Are you afraid of a bit of water?" he asked, with a teasing look. "No," Rodney said stiffly. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to get in there," he said, pointing at the water. "What am I? Some aquavendor?!" One guy looked over to them, obviously not too pleased about Rodney's implied insult. Rodney quickly turned back to John. "Seriously. I'm not getting in there." John looked at him. Then he nodded and said, "Okay, then don't," turned around and entered the changing room. Rodney watched him disappear. John couldn't just leave him alone like this. He'd persuaded Rodney to skip the general session and now he was abandoning him?! Rodney stomped into the changing room after John, only to be faced with a very smug looking John waiting for him. "This does not mean I'm giving in," Rodney said, raising his chin. John's expression softened into a smile and he took Rodney's hand—actually took his hand. "It's going to be okay, Rodney." Before Rodney could contemplate what he even meant by that, John let go of his hand and turned to pick two of the provided swim trunks from a shelf. He offered one to Rodney, who took it, and started getting out of his jacket. Rodney watched him fold the jacket and put it in one of the lockers. He was still just standing there, packaged swim trunks in his hand, when John came to stand in front of him. "You need help with that?" he asked, not waiting for an answer before he started slowly undoing Rodney's tie. Rodney let it happen. He let John untie the knot and slide the tie from his neck. Then he let him push the jacket from his shoulders and fold it and put it on top of his own together with the tie. When he started unbuttoning Rodney's shirt, Rodney dropped the swim trunks and reached out to do the same with John's shirt. His hands were shaking a bit, but Rodney plowed on, because he couldn't run away from this. Or well, he could, but he didn't want to. He'd run away when the conference was over, when he'd have to go back to reality, but for now he would go with this—within limits. He thought of Katie as he uncovered more and more of John's hairy chest. They'd been together for a year and had regular sex for most of that time, but Rodney couldn't remember a single time when she had excited him as much as the opening of a single button on John's shirt. John pulled the shirt out of Rodney's pants and looked at him, a question in his eyes. They could take it from here and move it into one of the stalls or their room. They could share half a day of passion and Rodney had no doubt that it would be amazing, could imagine only too well what it would be like with John. Flashes of fantasies ran through his mind, skin and touching and kissing and sex, but then what? Even if he did tell Katie he wouldn't marry her, that he'd met someone else, he had a hard time imagining taking John to any company functions. John had made his feelings for Wraith very clear and even though Rodney hadn't dared press the issue he suspected the feeling was mutual. It was little things that could cost him a promising project or his career and he doubted that John would be very happy with Rodney going off to work with the enemy every day. And while he could imagine giving up Katie for John, the idea of taking John up on his offer and "working" with him was as crazy as it had been the night before. Rodney stepped away from John. He could see understanding in John's eyes, picked up the swim trunks and turned away to step into one of the stalls. Once inside, he leaned against the door for a moment and closed his eyes. Then he began to undress and put on his swim trunks. ~~ There was a certain peacefulness to being underwater alone. Rodney was slowly following John, swimming from underwater air tank to air tank, past a few submerged vehicles, always leaving some space between them. The air tanks at the hotel were generous in dimension, but it could still get a little claustrophobic. More than that there'd be John, dripping wet and nearly naked. Rodney would have suspected John of only dragging him here to show off his admittedly very nice—okay, hot, really hot—body, but John moved from air tank to air tank with a clear target. That target was at the outer edge in the corner furthest from the entrance. Rodney joined John in the air tank next to the tubular vehicle. "I should have suspected this. Of course you'd be a fan of the puddlejumper," he said, rolling his eyes. John clicked on the display in the wall of the air tank to switch it on. "It's a legend," he said, pointing at the overview, which included the date of its first appearance at the International Automotive Conference five years ago as Pegasus, Inc.'s new flying submersible. Except for the part where it couldn't fly and only sat in the water. "So is Yeti," Rodney said, utterly unable to share John's enthusiasm for this failure of a vehicle. "Just look at her. She's beautiful," John said, gazing fondly at the dark metallic surface. Rodney only waited for him to start fondling it. "You have a crush on a vehicle that'll never make it into a finished prototype." "That's not true. They're still working on it." John tapped onto the display to bring up the technical specification. "It has actually passed some preliminary flight tests. It can fly." "Yeah, like a stone, dropped from a high building. I don't know why they keep bringing it back. It's getting embarrassing," Rodney said. John's face fell and he looked actually angry for a moment. Then he seemed to calm himself down. "They're not working full time on this as you should know," he said. "I think Radek would have more sense than to work on this. And I'm happy to see that they actually have projects that generate income for them. Otherwise I wouldn't have introduced you at all to Radek. Although maybe I should be afraid that you will put them into ruin. You could be worse than Radek's boss. I bet he'll love you." A smile played on John's wet lips. Rodney noted that his hair seemed to stick up even when it was wet. "I happen to like his way of doing business," John said. "He has an idea and sticks with it, even if it isn't easy and might never be profitable." "Which unfortunately happens to be the purpose of doing business. And I'm all for sticking with ideas, but this is as much a fantasy as the flying horse that the guy chose as his company's namesake. The day this moves under water and rises into the sky, I'll work for Pegasus, Inc." "Is that a promise?" John immediately asked, smiling eagerly. Rodney was silent for a moment. He wished that John would stop asking him to work with him, because he couldn't pretend that this was anything but that request again. "I won't leave Wraith, John," Rodney said quietly. "But I do hope that Pegasus, Inc. will work out for you. Despite this," he pointed at the puddlejumper, "they're a smart bunch of people and I think you'll be able to do some real work there." "This is real," John said wistfully, reaching up outside of the air tank to touch the surface of the puddlejumper. There was the fondling. Rodney sighed inwardly. John suddenly turned to him and grinned. "Let's go inside." "Wait, what? We'll have to wait for someone from Pegasus." "Nobody will see us," John said, daring him. "You want to break in?! What are you? Some kind of Master-thief-slash-PhD-PhD? Besides, we're talking about the company you want to hire you." "See and I'm getting some first hand experience to ease me in," he said with a smile. Before Rodney could protest again that they might not want John to have that kind of experience without asking, John had dived under the puddlejumper and began working on it. Rodney looked around in panic, waiting for someone to come and arrest them. But the pool was still empty except for the vehicles. Suddenly John disappeared into the jumper. Rodney hesitated for a moment until he saw John's arm, waving at him. He sighed, but then dove after John. On the underside of the jumper, Rodney now saw a hole. He reached for John's hand and was pulled up and out of the water into the dry puddlejumper. John beamed at him, still holding his hand. He was dripping wet and Rodney could see drops of water in his chest hair and running down everywhere. His swim trunks nicely hugged what was underneath. Rodney moved away, pulling his hand out of John's. He looked around at the interior, stealing glances at John who had a wondrous look on his face. "They've really perfected the propulsion system last year to work both in the air and under water," John said, putting his hand on what Rodney supposed was the casing for the propulsion system. "You'll really fit in there," Rodney said with a smile. "You want to make her fly, don't you? Oh God, were those the questions about the flying submarine you asked me yesterday? They weren't just playing around with physics in your head but for the puddlejumper, for real? You think you can walk into their booth and single-handedly do what they didn't manage in over five years?" Rodney asked incredulously. John pulled back his hand, looking at Rodney with a thoughtful, slightly tired expression. "I'm sorry," Rodney said. "I shouldn't have said that. Maybe you can make it work. It could happen, I suppose," he added, trying to make his doubt not too obvious. John smiled wryly. Then he looked at Rodney as if he was searching for something. "Don't you have faith in anything?" "Faith?" Rodney asked, because he couldn't see what faith had to do with doomed engineering projects. "Hope, you know. Believing that something can happen not based on experiments or calculations." Hearing that description made Rodney suddenly think of his sister. She'd taken his hand, looked at him and told him that she just knew that marrying and giving up her career was the right thing for her to do. It had been faith in her decision that made her do it, Rodney supposed, and he'd never understood it, much less thought that it was the way he wanted to lead his life. Faith was good for things that you couldn't predict, like a general faith in humanity. But hoping that a submersible would one day fly, based on nothing but the wish that it should? It was absurd. He tried to shake his thoughts, because thinking about Jeannie made him bitter. She hadn't just left Wraith when she'd gotten married. She'd also left him and their project behind, something which he'd never quite forgiven her. Part of him hoped she was happy—she was his sister after all—but in the last four years he hadn't actually bothered to find out. John was watching him when Rodney looked at him again. Rodney didn't say anything because he knew that they wouldn't see eye to eye on this. "I think I'd have enough faith for both of us," John said with a small smile. Then he seriously said, "If you'd work with me—" He stopped himself when Rodney looked away wearily. "Rodney." "I can't," Rodney said. "Why not?" John asked. "I already told you!" Rodney really didn't want to talk about this. "Yes. You mentioned that it's convenient and safe. But I refuse to believe that you'd stay with a company like Wraith when there's a much better alternative," John said decisively. "You mean like Pegasus?" "Yes, exactly. Pegasus," John answered. "Pegasus is great if you want to go and follow your dream. It's perfect for you. You'll find like-minded people, idealists." "You say that as if it's a bad thing," John accused him. "It's not, but it's problematic for a business. They're a young company and quite frankly their business decisions seem questionable at best to me. Joining them would be like taking a one-way trip into the great unknown. I'm not an adventurer!" "Rodney, that's... You think Radek is an adventurer?" John asked, apparently changing tactics. "Radek is a very smart man. But he's coming from an academic background and if Pegasus falls apart he can go back there. You know how powerful Wraith is. They won't be happy to see me leave the company for Pegasus. And they could make it very difficult for me to find another job when Pegasus fails." "But why should it fail?" "This," Rodney simply said, gesturing around them. "This and the Ferris wheel and whatever crazy idea the owner comes up with next. I wish him all the best, I do, but I'm afraid that his business decisions will catch up with him, because at the end of the day he's not an entrepreneur, but a dreamer." "It's the dreamers that change this world," John simply said in answer. "Don't you have any dreams, Rodney?" Rodney looked at John and saw more than just the very attractive body, saw the passion and intelligence in his eyes, saw the humor and the innocence. He saw all that he'd ever wanted in another person. "You know I do," he said quietly, looking down after a moment. "Tell me about Katie," John said suddenly. Rodney looked up at that. Katie was about the last person he wanted to talk about now. "Do you love her?" John asked. Rodney thought about it. The bad thing was, he didn't have to think very long. He'd known the answer maybe even before he'd met John, even though he hadn't wanted to admit it to himself. But even if he finally admitted it now to John, what would it change? "If I gave up Katie, would you come with me to Hive's Landing?" he asked. John looked surprised, then happy, then started to frown until his face fell and he clenched his jaw. "See?" Rodney said, not waiting for an answer. "You're asking something of me that you're not willing to do yourself." "Rodney, you don't understand," John began. "No, I do," Rodney interrupted him. "I've known you less than 24 hours and you're asking me to give up my life for you." "Not for me. For yourself," John said. "You want to save me?" Rodney asked. The strange thing was, he believed that John really thought that he was doing it for Rodney. "I don't know what happened with you at Wraith, but I can't be you. I'm sorry." They stood in silence for a moment and Rodney could see that John tried to think of something to say to Rodney that might convince him. Rodney didn't know how to tell him just to stop and enjoy the time that they still had together, short as it was. But maybe that had never been possible. Maybe they wanted too much to be able to appreciate just a little. "I shouldn't have come," he said. John's eyes widened. "Rodney." Rodney stepped up to him. He'd never regret that they'd met. In fact, he was sure he would remember John to the day that he died even if they never saw each other again. He looked at John, trying to communicate what he felt and taking in that face up close once more. His hands reached out almost of their own accord. He wanted to allow himself just one kiss, but he knew that he couldn't. Instead, he put his hands on John's shoulders, then further back and hugged John. They were pressed skin to skin and Rodney could feel John against him everywhere. He moved his face into the spot between John's neck and shoulder, his lips brushing against the skin there. "I wish things were different," he whispered, not moving away. "But the world is not going to change just because I want it to." He moved his mouth up a bit and kissed John on the neck. Then he pulled away without looking at John and let himself fall into the water through the hole in the puddlejumper. ~~ Rodney's hair was still a bit damp when he sat down in the main room. He listened to about half a sentence before his mind drifted off. Looking around the room, he saw attentive listeners, people who looked as if they were about to fall asleep and those busily reading or typing on their handhelds. They were the same people that he saw year after year at these conferences. They'd always been the same as him, but he wasn't one of them right now. Rodney felt absurdly as if he was in a parallel dimension and if he got up now he'd be able to walk straight through them. John. God, he had no idea how meeting one person could change everything. He'd known what his life would look like since he graduated high school: Two doctorates, a career at Wraith, marriage, a couple of kids, Nobel Prize in Physics. So far, it had all worked according to plan. He was a bit behind on the marriage thing, but he'd worked towards fixing that. At what price though? Was it worth marrying someone he didn't love, just to be able to say that he was married, to bring his wife to company functions? He liked Katie and though they didn't have a lot in common, being around her was pleasant enough. And she'd been the first serious relationship he'd had in years. Love wasn't a thing that happened to him very often. He'd had casual relationships with women and men at university and then dated when he started working at Wraith, but most of those relationships hadn't been serious, because his job and, well, his personality made that difficult. Katie had seemed perfect to him. She'd been willing to look past his faults and he tried to be nice around her in return. When he'd proposed to her, it had seemed like a promising future. Now he couldn't forget how John's skin felt beneath his lips and hands, how his lips looked when they were wet and slightly parted. He felt a passion for John that he hadn't known he could have for another person. His work had always been the most important thing in Rodney's life, but right now the wish to be with John was making him consider changing his priorities. He hadn't lied to John. He didn't think he could ever jump into work at Pegasus, Inc. with the same enthusiasm and "faith" that Radek and John displayed. He wasn't cut out to be the guy who set out to make the world a better place. But now that he sat here with all the other worker drones, he couldn't help but wonder if maybe he'd been wrong when he said he wouldn't leave Wraith. John was offering him a new life. Walking away from John and that offer had been the hardest thing he'd ever done in his life, harder than facing his boss after destroying five-sixths of a research facility, harder than seeing his sister walk out of his life. He might not like the part of John's offer that meant he'd have to give up the safety of Wraith, but with that package deal, with John by his side, maybe it was worth the risk. Actually, the question wasn't really the safety of Wraith versus the risk of Pegasus. He would never voluntarily leave Wraith for Pegasus, Inc. The real question here was if he was willing to give up his life to be with John. He'd said it himself, but he hadn't really considered answering the question because it seemed insane to do so. Now, though, as he sat in a room full of people, completely alone, the answer to that question wasn't so clear anymore. He saw movement next to him and when he turned, John took the seat beside him. He looked at Rodney calmly. There was no demand in his eyes, no expectation. Rodney was grateful for it. He looked back straight ahead, trying to contemplate what he was considering here. He was considering giving up his life's dream to be with a man he'd met less than 24 hours ago. He was considering giving up his life to be with someone who could make him laugh and smile and feel cared for and feel desired and whose brain delighted him. He was considering giving up his life for a new life with someone he could really love and who might be able to love him. He looked at John and John turned from looking at the speaker to him. He gave Rodney a small smile. Rodney held his gaze for a moment, then smiled back. Then he reached out his hand and put it on John's. John looked surprised and before he could misunderstand this for giving in, Rodney mouthed, "Just give me some time." John nodded in understanding, turned his hand and clasped their fingers together. In that moment, Rodney didn't feel alone any longer. ~~ They ate lunch together after the joint session ended. The tables were large and they shared one with over half a dozen people. While the others made polite small talk, John and Rodney ate in silence, looking at each other very often. For dessert, they grabbed a few baked goods and went outside. The sun was shining and there were quite a few people outside, preparing to open up their exhibits or looking at what had already been opened. John and Rodney found a bench in a small alcove a bit further away and settled down there. Rodney took a bite of a chocolate croissant and looked at the man beside him. He felt incredibly close to John and their relationship had an intimacy that Rodney otherwise only associated with people he'd known for a long time. And that was just the non-sexual intimacy. But despite the level of closeness and his attraction to John, Rodney was aware of their lack of history. "I'm from Canada," he began, because if he really thought about giving up his life for this man, he ought to get down at least a few basics. "My sister is still there, or I should say back there after she married. My parents are both dead." John looked at him, his expression between confusion and amusement. "You?" Rodney prompted when John didn't say anything. "Oh, we're doing... I'm from Boston. My brother is still there, taking care of the family business. My parents are dead, too. My father died last year." John looked at a faraway place for a moment. "I'm sorry," Rodney said. John gave him a quick smile. "It was a heart attack. He didn't have to suffer." There was a moment of silence, before Rodney spoke again. "So what do you like to do in your spare time? Any terrible habits I should know about?" "You mean that I'm aware of?" John said, one half of his mouth quirking upward. "Yes," Rodney said, smiling. "I do like to get up early in the morning and go for a run with a buddy of mine. But I wouldn't expect you to come along, unless you want to." "No, I'd definitely pass on that. You're not a health freak or anything, are you?" Rodney asked, envisioning a strong regimen of special diets and daily exercises, even though John was currently eating a little cupcake. John laughed. "No. Just like to stay fit. And I like running and pushing my body to its limits. Since I spend most of the time working my brain." "Oh, okay," Rodney said. "I'm not much into exercise. Though I walk smaller distances and take the stairs sometimes." That was mostly to avoid certain co-workers, but still. "You seem in good enough shape," John said, giving him a quick once over and grinning. Rodney flushed, remembering his little exhibitionistic episode earlier that day. "Anything else?" he quickly asked. "I like my job and I can forget things when I'm deep into something," John said. Rodney nodded in understanding. Katie seemed always sad but resigned when he was late for a date. "Of course that wouldn't really be a problem if we worked together. In fact it might be more a thing of seeing each other too much." "That won't be the problem," John said immediately. "I mean we could work on different projects and I'm more on the specification side of things while you implement ideas. Plus, I do have friends I like to spend time with. And books! I like to read. So it's not as if I would cling to you every waking moment of our life." "Okay," Rodney said with a half-smile, because John seemed to panic just a bit at the idea that Rodney could see their working together as a problem. He decided to go ahead and continue their getting to know each other session. "It may sound stupid with our jobs," and with his age as Katie sometimes reminded him, "but I love models." "Physics?" John asked. "Vehicles," Rodney answered. John's face lit up. "Planes?" "Anything, but mostly racing cars. And I mean the good working models," Rodney added. "Proculus' work is amazing," John pointed out to him. Rodney was surprised he even knew them. They were a small company and Rodney only knew them because they did some work with Wraith. "The Satedan line is the best." "Yes!" John agreed. "Steering is always off on the models, but they get the resistance just right. And the acceleration is great, too. I thought I'd have to build one myself to ever get it right. But Proculus really did it with the Satedans. They're perfect!" "Except for the sound effects," they both said in unison. They looked at each other and started laughing. Rodney watched John's open, happy face and something in him just broke. His laugh softened into a smile and then disappeared completely as he realized that this was it. This was the person he'd been waiting for all his life without knowing it. "I'm terrible at relationships," he suddenly blurted out. He didn't know why, except that he couldn't start believing that this was real until it stopped being so perfect. John's face fell. "I, uh, I'm not so great myself, but I think part of that was that I never had a reason to try." Rodney could hear the implied "until now". "I can be... difficult at times. I've been called arrogant and rude." "Oh, really?" John said, mocking him. "I hadn't noticed, what with how we first met." Rodney recalled his exchange with the desk clerk and how he'd treated John. "Some people find that to be off-putting," Rodney said stiffly. John leaned a bit towards him and said as if sharing a secret, "I find it to be honest." Rodney just looked at the twinkle in John's hazel eyes. "I've been told that I'm stubborn," John confessed. "That's a huge surprise after you dragged me through half the hotel, under water and out here," Rodney said sarcastically, looking at the hedges surrounding them. "I thought you'd say after I wouldn't stop badgering you about leaving Wraith," John said only half-jokingly. Rodney thought about his employer, the opportunities that he had there. "What would you say if I wanted to finish my current project there first?" he asked John. John straightened up, moving away from Rodney. "Rodney, let me tell you about—" Rodney lifted a finger to John lips, stopping him. "Wait until after the presentation, okay? A lot of people worked to make this project happen and I don't want to disappoint them—and me frankly. I've been waiting for months to present my findings. If this is anywhere near as bad as you say I might not feel up to giving the presentation." "If I tell you afterwards, you might regret giving it," John pointed out. Rodney wondered how bad it could be. Secret labs where they beat kidnapped geniuses into submission? He figured in a worst case scenario his presentation would be the least of his problems. "I'll take my chances and wait. How about your job? Should we go and check out the Pegasus booth?" he asked, considering that part of the conversation finished. John hesitated for a moment, then nodded. "Let's go get ourselves an interview," he said, slapping Rodney's thigh. "You," Rodney corrected. "Right now, I'm still gainfully employed. Besides Radek knows everything they need to know about my qualifications and personality—for better or worse. It's not like he never suggested that I work for them. The only thing left to do is talk to the owner and I'm not sure I'm looking forward to that." John gave him a strange look and said without mocking, "I'm sure he'll love you." "Ha," Rodney said, because if John thought that, his feelings for Rodney were so far gone that they headed into dangerous territory. Rodney was flattered but afraid for John's brain. "I hope that he'll be able to look past my personal shortcomings and see that I more than make up for that with my genius." "You know, in our little annoying traits talk, you forgot to mention your humility," John quipped. "And you forgot your hobby of stand-up comedy," Rodney shot back. "I'll make you laugh," John said with a smile. "I really think you will," Rodney said, frowning a bit. John got up and took Rodney's hand and pulled him from the bench, close to his body. They stood like that, bodies almost touching, faces only inches apart. John watched him, his gaze steady on Rodney's eyes until it dipped to Rodney's mouth. Rodney wanted to kiss him. They'd all but finalized their future together and Rodney hadn't even kissed him. But then he remembered that right now he was still in his old life, Wraith employee and much more importantly, engaged. "I, uh," he began. John looked at him and evidently saw that this wasn't the moment. He gave Rodney a quick smile and took a step back. "Katie will arrive this evening," Rodney said. "I'll talk with her tonight," he added, in case John was in any doubt about that. Then he suddenly remembered something else. "God, we don't have a room! Wait, you called the reception, right?" "Yeah," John said. "Don't worry. She will have a room." Rodney could be oblivious, but even he noticed the emphasis there. "I wasn't going to spend the night with her." "I..." John began. "Good, that's good," he finished. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be jealous, not after—" "That's okay," Rodney said. "It's good to know that you care." "I care," John said, his voice a bit tight. Rodney could see how much he meant it. He smiled at John. "Let's go see how Radek is doing." ~~ Radek behaved oddly around John as if he'd never done a semi-formal interview. He kept shooting looks at Rodney. Eventually John said, "Why don't you go ahead and take a look around while I talk to Radek?" Rodney sighed. John was hot when he was talking about his doctorates. But Rodney could see how it was a bit unusual to conduct an interview in the presence of the (future) boyfriend of the applicant. So he dutifully left with a smile at John and a glare at Radek's cheerful co-occupant in the booth. Laura had given Rodney a once over and grinned when they'd arrived. She'd actually said, "Not bad," to John, which had prompted a raised eyebrow on John's side and worry on Rodney's side that he'd have to work with her if he joined Pegasus, Inc. The other booths weren't very different from past years. Most of the innovations were yawn-worthy, something that Wraith was already planning to do much better or so innovative that Rodney was only going to believe it when he saw the finished product and not just fancy presentations. He kept coming back to the area of the Pegasus booth. John and Radek had moved to the back of the booth, deep in discussion, while Laura was talking to attendees of the conference. Rodney started on another round, realizing that he didn't like the feeling of limbo. Usually when he looked at the booths, he did it with a specific eye on his current project and on the lookout for future projects. But now he didn't even know how Pegasus did their business. Did the nameless boss sweep in the office from his private jet, telling them about his latest crazy ideas or could employees suggest things with an actual chance to influence him? Rodney was also curious about who the man was—or woman as the case may be. Pegasus, Inc. had shot up out of nowhere five years ago with a handful of employees and an owner who wished to remain anonymous. Radek mentioned his boss every now and then, but Rodney or anyone else for that matter hadn't been able to find out anything about him other than deducing that he had to be very rich. Some people speculated that it was a consortium rather than a single person, but he couldn't see a consortium building a Ferris wheel unless they were really very clever and very intent on creating an imaginary character behind the company, which Rodney didn't really see any benefit for. Not to mention that he knew from Radek that there was a boss. Rodney would soon have to meet him if he really wanted to do this. He still couldn't quite believe that next year when he returned to the conference it might be as an occupant of the Pegasus booth, next to that obnoxiously cheerful woman. Oops, she was looking at him now and grinning. Rodney quickly looked away at the booth where he was standing. After another round, he went back to the Pegasus booth to see if John was finally done. Rodney wasn't sure why it took so long. He supposed it was a good sign, but it wasn't as if Radek didn't have better things to do, especially since they'd have to do another formal interview anyway. As he came closer, Rodney also realized that the discussion didn't seem to be of the "we're enjoying ourselves so much, we're forgetting the time" kind. They seemed to be, not arguing, but not in agreement either. He had seen Radek like this when they argued over a theory or paper, but John looked strangely defensive while still giving the aura of having the upper hand. God, Rodney hoped John hadn't brought up some fancy idea and begun a fight over it. "Rodney is back," Laura said, loud enough for the others to hear. John and Radek turned to him. "Tomorrow, okay?" John said to Radek. Radek didn't seem pleased, but nodded. John got up and squeezed out of the booth, smiling at Rodney and taking his arm to drag him away. "Have fun!" Laura called after them. "What's tomorrow?" Rodney asked John, not giving her the satisfaction of a reaction. John hesitated for a moment. "Interview with the owner," he said, looking ahead, possibly for the closest exit. "Oh, really? What's his name?" Rodney asked, curious now. John gave him a side-long look. "You'll find out soon enough," John said with a smirk. "Come on, that's not fair. What's the point in waiting? I'm not going to tell anyone!" "You'll have to sign the NDA first to confirm that," John said, entirely too amused about the whole thing. "Sheesh, at least I know security won't be a problem at Pegasus," Rodney said dismayed. "Is it someone I know?" he asked, unable to quell his curiosity. "Wait and see, Rodney. You'll get to know him sooner than you think," John said, opening a door that led to the outside exhibition. "What's that supposed to mean?" Rodney asked, walking through. Then he stopped mid-door and turned to add triumphantly, "And hey, you said him, so it's a man. Ha!" John rolled his eyes. "Nothing escapes your stunning intellect," he said, pushing Rodney through. ~~ John didn't want to talk about his interview with Radek other than saying, "It went well, relax." Rodney wasn't really anxious—he doubted that Radek would agree to arrange an interview with the owner if he had reservations about John—but curious. But every subtle or not attempt by Rodney to bring it up made John change the topic. Which wasn't very hard to begin with since he was very interested in the aircraft on display. He loved the fast planes, while Rodney was more interested in technical details than mere practical application. It was still enjoyable to watch the sheer joy in John's eyes as the employees explained how the new planes were pushing the limits. John was especially fascinated to hear from pilots. "Have you ever flown one of these?" John asked as they walked to the next plane. "How would I? It's not even out." John gave him a look. "Not these these, but jets in general. Wraith has an extensive product line." "Right, and I would have volunteered to fly in one why?" Rodney asked, although he feared he knew the answer. "Because it's fun. I got a pilot's license for these just to participate in the program." Rodney looked at him. "You would have, wouldn't you?" He shook his head. "I tend to only use vehicles for practical purposes, you know. Getting from here to there." "You can still enjoy the ride. What kind of car do you have?" John asked. "I don't actually own a car," Rodney said. "If I need one, Wraith will provide me with one." John stared at him. "You're working for Wraith and don't own a car?" "I don't need one!" Rodney said defensively. "Do you have any idea about traffic in Hive's Landing? The paperboy has a car." John laughed. "God, you are..." He trailed off and his expression softened. "One in a million, McKay." Rodney wasn't sure if it was an insult or a compliment and that irritated him. "Let's check out the Ferris wheel," John suggested with a wide smile. "So now we're going from high speed to no speed?" Rodney asked. "Exactly," John said and once again Rodney found himself being dragged away. ~~ On the way to the Ferris wheel John picked up some hot dogs since it was getting close to dinner time. "Are you sure that's a good idea?" Rodney asked. "It'll be great. Dinner on a Ferris wheel. What could be better?" John asked, still smiling. Rodney decided to accept his fate. The Ferris wheel was only half full. People were already leaving the outside exhibition area and some exhibits had been closed up by now. It was slowly getting dark. John was very excited. Judging from his interest in aircraft Rodney had pegged him as a speed junkie, but he seemed to love this slow ride just as much and Rodney was charmed by that. When John turned from looking all around as they ascended and saw Rodney gazing at him, his smile softened into something less full of childlike excitement and more mature happiness. He shifted and put an arm around Rodney, not even pretending that it was anything else. Rodney was amazed by the ease of the move. He always felt awkward initiating public displays of affection, even if he knew it was sort of expected of him. Come to think of it, he didn't enjoy it either when Katie initiated it. During Wraith functions, she sometimes hooked her arm in his and he always wondered how long they'd have to parade around like that. He looked at John, who bit into his hot dog and gazed at the skyline. Rodney hesitated, then tentatively snuggled closer. John looked at him, smiled and gave him a quick squeeze. Rodney relaxed and started eating his hot dog. The view was really quite breathtaking. This area of Atlantis City had some beautiful turn of the century buildings: High towers with intricate detail and, not far from the hotel, the asymmetric silhouette of the Central Atlantis Tower. On the down turn, he looked at the design of the Ferris wheel itself. All cabins were attached with the latest zero attrition joints. There were no visible signs at all of how the wheel moved. It was as if someone had sculpted it and then brought it to life. A terrible waste of high-tech maybe, but he had to admit a beautiful one. They stayed on the Ferris wheel when it stopped to let people off and a few on. The exhibition area got more and more empty, the Ferris wheel with it. When the lights were turned on, Rodney actually gasped. John turned to him and grinned, then he nuzzled Rodney's temple for a moment before turning back to the view where the skyline slowly turned dark and the buildings began to be visible from their lights instead of their outlines. Rodney settled comfortably back against John's shoulder. There was nothing forced about this. He'd never felt so relaxed in his life. He suddenly thought of Katie. He tried to imagine sitting here with her. Of course, he'd be the one with his arm around her and she'd snuggle into him. It would be comfortable, too, but it would be a different kind of comfort. It would be the comfort of familiarity, of knowing that it made her happy. But a part of him would feel alone. He looked at John, who turned to him with a slightly questioning look. Rodney had no idea why, but with John he felt as if he could tell him anything. From the silly to the petty, from the most mundane to his innermost secrets. He knew in his heart that John wouldn't judge him and all his relationships had sooner or later come to the point where his boyfriend or girlfriend gave him a look that clearly conveyed that they wished he would be just a bit more nice or less critical or any number of things. He'd escaped this fate with Katie so far, because he tried to censor himself around her. It was doable without too much effort, because she was such a sweet person, but it also made him feel alone even when he was around her, because he just wasn't that polite charming man that took her out to dinner. Sometimes he'd felt like watching his own performance from the outside. Rodney checked his watch. "Katie will arrive soon." John stiffened next to him, then relaxed again. "You want to go back inside?" "Not yet," Rodney said. He'd have to talk to Katie. He had no idea how he would be able to explain to her that it wasn't her, but him. It was such a cliché. As was "I've met someone". He just hoped he wouldn't hurt her too badly. She didn't deserve it. He tried to push thoughts of Katie and their upcoming talk away for a moment to enjoy the last round of the Ferris wheel. It was night now and turning a bit chilly. Rodney's gaze turned from the skyline to John. Rodney had never been someone who'd been terribly impressed by people. He was impressed by ideas. John certainly had ideas—and Rodney couldn't wait to see them in more detail—but what Rodney found himself drawn to wasn't just John's mind, but his whole being. And his body—really, it would be foolish to deny that. Rodney looked at the stubble on John's jaw, at his neck, his pointy ears—God, he was practically an elf—the hair that Rodney wanted to run his hands through. Rodney felt desire rise in him. He turned away towards the view because he'd have to wait just a bit more. When he'd had his talk with Katie, he could continue this train of thought—and move from theory to practice. ~~ "Rodney," Katie said with one of her bright smiles. Rodney smiled back and let her pull him into a quick hug and a kiss. She took his arm and Rodney felt the weight of it as they walked to the reception. "You should have a room for Doctors Rodney McKay and Katie Brown, both with Wraith," he told the same young woman who'd messed up his reservation yesterday. She looked at her computer. "Yes. Uhm, actually," she began. "Oh, come on. You've got to be kidding me. You told Mr. Sheppard that you'd find a room and—" "Yes, Doctor McKay," she interrupted him. "We do have a bed for Doctor Brown. If you'd be willing to share with Ms. Cadman—" "Is that what you consider organizing—" "Rodney," Katie said in her chiding, but still friendly voice, squeezing his arm for emphasis. "Right," he said, taking a deep breath. "Thank you." Katie signed in and they went to find her room. She inquired how he slept, sharing a room with a stranger, but he waved it off, saying it was fine. Guilt was starting to creep up in him, even though the extent of his unfaithfulness had been fantasies. That and displaying his ass and a semi-nude hug and a kiss on the neck and a lot of closeness. Looking back, he had no idea how he'd managed to squeeze so much inappropriate behavior into a mere day. They knocked on the door to alert Ms. Cadman of their arrival. When the door was opened, Ms. Cadman turned out to be none other than the obnoxiously cheerful Laura from the Pegasus booth. Rodney tried to hide his dismay. Laura grinned at him, then ushered them in, telling them to feel at home. "If they mess up your reservation for the IAC, you're pretty much screwed, so I'm glad to help." Rodney set down Katie's suitcase and there was a moment of awkward silence. "Uhm, Katie, actually, I wanted to talk to you. In private," he added, eying Laura. "I'll just go into the bathroom," Laura quickly said. "Oh no, we can go take a walk," Katie immediately answered. "It's not a problem," Laura said. "It'll take a while until I get out. You can still take a walk, in case you're not done when I come out." Rodney felt vaguely uncomfortable with the idea of her in the bathroom, but Laura already picked up her beauty case and disappeared into the bathroom with a smile at them. "She seems nice," Katie said. "Uhm, yes," Rodney said. "I think we should sit down." "Okay." Katie settled down on the bed and Rodney sat beside her. "What do you want to talk about? There's no problem with your presentation, is there?" "No, no, nothing like that." He looked at the opposite bed, trying to figure out how to do this. The most direct approach was probably best. He could simply tell her that he couldn't marry her. "Katie, I—" The words suddenly stuck in his throat. "Rodney, are you all right?" Katie said, looking very worried. She put her hand on his forehead. "You don't seem to have any fever. Have you eaten properly?" "Yes, yes, I'm fine, I just..." I just can't do this, he thought dismayed. He was a few words away from sealing his fate. He should be glad to finally put his decision into action, but suddenly he felt the reality of what he was planning to do crash down on him. It wasn't so much leaving Katie. After what he'd felt with John the last day and his realizations about his relationship with Katie, it was pretty much impossible to stay with her. But he was going to give up so much more than the illusion of comfort that the relationship with Katie had given him. Giving up Wraith meant risking his career and everything that he'd worked for his whole life. When he was with John it was easy to feel that it was worth it. But what would he do when the butterflies in his stomach settled down and daily routine began? What if their relationship failed? What if they were happy together, but the job at Pegasus turned out to be a complete wash and he would be forced to work on things that made no sense to him, because the eccentric owner was a dreamer? Wraith had put up with him, because he was a genius, but maybe to the owner of Pegasus the company culture and happy family of employees would seem incompatible with one Rodney McKay, genius or not. He wouldn't stay unemployed if he really looked for a job, but it would never be what Wraith allowed him to do. Was he really willing to give that up? For John? For a man that he knew for just a day? His heart tried to bring up the image of John in his mind, the feel of him, but Rodney pushed it away for once, because he couldn't just completely abandon his brain in the moment that would invariably change his whole life. He had to think this through instead of letting his feelings take over as he had done so far, because he simply had a hard time ignoring his feelings when faced with John. "I need a moment, okay? I'm sorry. I'll just take a walk, let you unpack," he said, getting up. "Rodney?" Katie said, frowning. "I'm fine. I'll be back in no time," he said. Then he turned and fled, vaguely aware that as he left the room, the bathroom door opened. "That was quick," he heard Laura's voice as he closed the door behind him. ~~ The air was fresh outside. He loosened his tie, thinking about how John had tied and untied it. He could be up in their room now, undressing John, finally feeling his lips on his own, finally touching all of the skin that he'd only been allowed to see so far. God, now he was thinking with his libido, which wasn't better than being sentimental. He needed to be rational about this. Of course, the problem was that there was nothing rational about the whole situation. From the moment John had tied his tie for him, their whole relationship had taken a left turn into something that Rodney couldn't really explain. He'd let his feelings guide his actions and more than that he'd let John take the lead and followed without even noticing. Rodney McKay didn't follow anyone. He could be convinced of a path of action if it was right, but to simply trust someone the way he'd trusted John was completely unheard of. What did he really know about John? He could be an axe murderer. A smart, funny, charming one, but still. Taking the step to quit at Wraith and begin to work for Pegasus was too important to base it just on blind faith. It had to be something that he could support with arguments outside of John's involvement. It was terribly easy to see what could go wrong if he worked for Pegasus, but to be fair, he should also think about what could be better. The atmosphere would certainly be better. Wraith employed a variety of people and in a competitive environment like theirs, backstabbing and sycophancy were commonplace. And he hated the politics that were one of the reasons why he proposed to Katie. In some ways, Wraith wasn't unlike the military, where the spouse was a big part of the career, more so since Katie actually did work for Wraith. He didn't think that this was necessary with Pegasus. It would also be wonderful to have more control over his projects. Despite his status as Chief Scientific Project Manager at Wraith, he had to report to his boss, who reported to his boss and he had to follow directions from various members of the management or marketing. Obviously he would still have to get the okay from the boss at Pegasus, but maybe he would be trusted enough to work on his own, and for the most part, without interference. He would enjoy working with Radek. Radek had asked if he was interested several times in the past and Rodney knew that he was intelligent. More than that though, he had the right mixture of not cowing in the face of adversity—and Rodney's personality—and admitting when he was wrong. Such qualities were hard to find in one person and Rodney liked to imagine their intellectual exchanges taken to a more productive level. There was the location of Santa Lantea on the West Coast. He wasn't exactly the sunshine and beach kind of guy, but he was pretty sick and tired of the suburbia of Hive's Landing, with their perfect little white houses and picket fences. He felt dirty cursing when he missed the bus and he'd never really felt at home there. He didn't necessarily think it would be better in Santa Lantea, but change sounded pretty inviting. Rodney was roused from his thoughts by someone approaching. "Oh, Rodney, hello? I don't disturb you, do I?" Radek said, stepping into the light of the lantern under which Rodney had paced. "No, you don't. Taking a walk?" Rodney asked. "Uhm. Yes. Getting some fresh air," Radek said, looking at the night sky. "Can I ask you something?" Rodney asked, taking the opportunity. "Sure," Radek answered. "Do you think I'd enjoy working at Pegasus?" Radek's eyes widened slightly. "So you do want to work with us?" "I know, I've always said I can't even seriously consider it, but... things have changed. I'm considering it now." "That's great. He'll be very happy. The boss, I mean," Radek clarified. "You talked about me?" Rodney said, pleased by the idea. "Your name might have come up," Radek said evasively. Rodney gave him a look. "It speaks for him that he'd like to hire me. But—and please tell the full truth, I know that you want to help out Pegasus and your boss, but if you're lying, it'll just make all of us unhappy." "What?" "Would I go crazy working there? Granted, we've never worked together, but I think you know me quite well, so you know that I can be difficult and you know that I have only a limited amount of patience for fancy dreams. So do you think this could work out or am I going to get kicked out or strangle my boss within six months?" Radek grinned. "You'll love it I'm sure." "Oh, come on. How am I supposed to believe that? You could at least try to be objective here," Rodney whined. He needed a serious answer. "I am objective. I know that you have some insane ideas about Pegasus, but we're not picnics all the time and then running off to invent flying carpets." "Just Ferris wheels," Rodney couldn't help commenting. "The Ferris wheel was marketing. We'll take it back to Santa Lantea, where it'll be at the beach fair, reminding everyone what you can achieve when you set your mind to it," Radek said. "Is that what he says?" Rodney asked. "Actually, that's what our marketing says." Rodney was slightly relieved about that. "Okay, fine. Back to the picnics, which I actually wouldn't mind." Radek laughed. "You'll fit right in. Well, not in that everyone will love you and you them, but we have good people who work hard to make things happen. Real things," Radek added. "If you'll go to the aquatic exhibition you'll see our puddlejumper. Why do you think it's not finished? Because we know that even if it works it will be nothing for the masses. The boss might be a dreamer, but he's no idiot. You know Elizabeth Weir?" "Of course," Rodney said. "I thought she went back to academia." "She did, but she started working for us two years ago. She does our business analysis and she's not afraid to tell the boss when something is not worth pursuing. And he listens. And he'll listen to you, Rodney." This was what Rodney had wanted to hear. "Okay. And personally? I mean... do you think we'll get along." A strange smile played on Radek's lips. "I can almost guarantee that your relationship will be very satisfactory." Rodney frowned at Radek's weird phrasing. Maybe it was a Czech thing. He nodded and took a deep breath. "Thank you, Radek. You've really helped me." "You're welcome. It's the least I could do for a future colleague," Radek said with a grin. "Oh, hey, from colleague to colleague. Who is this guy? I mean, do I know him? Have I at least heard of him?" Rodney asked, giving in to his curiosity. "You'll know soon enough," Radek said teasingly. "That's what John said. You know all this hiding can backfire. It builds up suspense and then you're apt to be disappointed." "I doubt that," Radek said. Rodney sighed, giving up. "I should head back. Thanks again." Radek nodded in acknowledgement. "I'm glad you decided to take a walk," Rodney added. "Uhuh," Radek said, lifted his head in goodbye and walked on. One of his worries settled, Rodney decided to take on the other two before plunging into the abyss. ~~ When he entered their room, John was reading. "You're back," John said neutrally. "Yes, and I'll be leaving again to talk to Katie," Rodney quickly explained. He didn't sit down, because he wanted to make this short. John frowned, but didn't say anything. "I have two questions. One, what if this doesn't work out?" Rodney asked. "We're not even together yet and you're asking about how we'll handle our breakup?" "Yes, exactly," Rodney said, lifting his chin. "Since we'll be working together at least peripherally, I would like to know if you think it'll be a problem for us to have a professional working relationship in case our personal relationship ends." John put the book away and sat up. "Rodney, I... Yes, I think we'll be able to work together. I respect your work far too much not to." "Good," Rodney said, nodding. "Two, what if you don't work out at Pegasus?" "Come again?" "What if you don't quite fit in or mess up? I mean, I know that whatever happened between Wraith and you must have been very serious for you, which is why I haven't seriously asked you to come to Hive's Landing with me. But what if this doesn't work out either? Will you try to get me to leave Pegasus, too?" "Uh," John said, seemingly perplexed. Then he snorted. "I really don't think that'll be a problem." "John," Rodney said, slightly pleading because he wanted more than It'll all turn out well for once. "Okay. If for some reason or another I stop working for Pegasus, I will not ask you to leave too." "Are you sure?" Rodney asked. "Yes. I have a lot of ideas I can work on and I've been able to put aside some money, so I'll be fine at least for a while." "Oh," Rodney said. "How much money?" John gave him a look. "Right," Rodney said. "That would be one of things we can talk about after we're together. Or never, because it's your money. Hey, has Pegasus offered you a deal yet? I mean with actual numbers." "Weren't you going to tell your fiancée something?" John asked, one eyebrow raised. Rodney thought back to Katie and what he had to do and then John and what he could then do, in this room, in this bed. "Yes," he quickly said. "I'll be back soon." He wanted to kiss John on the cheek, but it would be too ridiculous. They could do so much more once he was back. He gave John a smile, took a deep breath, turned and left to find Katie. ~~ "I can't marry you." In the end it was surprisingly easy to say. "What?" Katie asked, her expression confused, then moving towards upset. "I'm sorry. I'm not the right person for you," he told her. "Oh, Rodney," she said, putting her hand on his. "You are a wonderful person." "I... Thank you, but that's not what I meant. I'm so focused on my work. I don't care about dinner functions. And I'm not the attentive boyfriend that you deserve." "That's not true," she assured him. "You have your faults as we all do, but I wouldn't want anyone else." Rodney sighed inwardly. How could he tell her that the person with a few faults that she wanted was him pretending to be that person. "I'm not a nice person. And since I left, I only ate what you'd consider junk food." Katie frowned. It seemed to dawn on her that he was serious. "Okay?" "I know that you're only looking out for me, but I don't really... need that. You're such an amazing person, I've never met a sweeter soul in my life, but I've realized that the two of us together won't work in the long run." She pulled her hand away from his, her gaze moving around, as if she was struggling with what to say. "When did you realize this?" Rodney dropped his gaze. "I think I tried to deny it because I hoped I could be the person that you want, but this weekend I realized I'm not and that trying to be will just make both of us unhappy." "I always thought we were happy," she said. "I know. And we were, often. But... you deserve better. You deserve someone who doesn't have to struggle to make you happy. I'm sorry that I cannot be that man." She pressed her lips in a thin line and nodded. It was terrible of him, but he hoped she wouldn't cry. He had no idea how to deal with that. Thankfully, she seemed to hold up, her eyes narrowed but dry. Rodney suddenly felt the need to tell her the full truth. "I also met someone." Her eyes shot up. "Not— I have never... We just met this weekend and spent some time together and I felt... As you said, we all have flaws, but I feel that our flaws fit together. He doesn't mind when I'm insulting or overly curious. And I feel that he..." "Is the person you want?" she asked. "Yes," he admitted. "He's what I've always wanted without even knowing it." A hurt expression crossed her face, but then she put on a brave smile. "Well, then I suppose I should be happy for you," she said, swallowing. "I'm so sorry, Katie. I mean it. You are a wonderful person. The man who gets you can count himself lucky. I'm at fault here and I wish I could have realized this sooner." She gave a decisive nod. "Okay." Rodney nodded as well and gave her a quick smile. He got up and hesitated, then turned and left. Outside, he stood for a moment. It had gone better than he'd thought. Better than he'd had any right to expect. Katie's sweet nature had made it easy for him. He really hoped that she'd find someone who'd treat it as the gift that it was. He couldn't be that person. He regretted that he hadn't seen that sooner, before he'd asked her to marry him, but he couldn't regret the realization itself or how it had come about. John had opened up his eyes about his life, about what he wanted and what he could have. Katie had always been a compromise, he'd just thought she was the best possible compromise there could be for him. Now he knew better. Now he knew what it felt like not having to pretend. Now he knew what it was like to be completely at ease with someone because they liked you just the way you were, even your flaws. It wasn't something that he'd ever contemplated as possible. Now it wasn't just possible but it was his future. And that future would begin now. ~~ He opened the door, feeling the excitement of what was about to happen. The last day had felt so much longer. It was as if he'd waited forever for this moment. When John saw him, he immediately got up from the bed, coming closer to Rodney. He stopped, leaving a bit of a distance between them, but looking at Rodney questioningly. "I told her," Rodney said. John exhaled as if he'd been holding his breath, then a smile broke out on his face. "That's..." he began, but didn't continue. He looked as if he couldn't quite believe it either. Fortunately, Rodney knew just the thing to make him believe. He closed the distance between them and pulled John's face into a kiss. For a second John didn't move, then he wrapped his arms around Rodney and opened up his mouth. It was like lightning had struck him, not literally obviously, even though there was definitely some heat and electricity between them. Rodney felt the kiss from the connection of their lips through his whole body from head to toe. He moved one hand into John's hair and the other around his neck, needing to feel more of John, all of John. John held him so tightly that Rodney was sure he'd feel it long after John let go, not that he even wanted to think about that now. He was finally here, with John, and he didn't intend to let go any time soon. In fact, he had every intention for them to get a lot closer before the night ended, so he pushed his crotch against John and his tongue into John's mouth. John moaned and when his tongue got into play too, things turned a whole lot wetter and dirtier and hotter. Rodney didn't want to wait a second longer. He moved the hand from the back of John's neck to the front and started unbuttoning John's shirt. "Rodney," John panted between kisses. "Yeah," Rodney answered. He'd never get enough of hearing his name like that. "Wait," John said. They kept kissing and it wasn't until John moved one hand from around Rodney and put it on Rodney's wrist that John's words really sunk in. Rodney pulled away to look at John. John looked wonderfully disheveled, his hair in complete disarray, his lips reddened from their kisses. He looked slightly regretful but also determined when he eventually said, "We should talk." Rodney blinked. "Talk." It came out flatly. "That's..." He drifted off, trying to make sense of it, then set his chin with determination. "No. No. No! I just had a 'talk' and we don't have to have a talk, not now, hopefully not ever! I can't believe this. I just broke up with my girlfriend and I'm not saying it was for you, because it wasn't, but it certainly wasn't entirely unrelated to you and now you want to have—" "Rodney!" John stopped him, squeezing his shoulders. He waited for a moment and Rodney tried to calm down from the slight hysteria he was working himself into. "Not that kind of talk," John said softly, moving his hands to Rodney's neck and stroking it with his thumbs. "Oh, okay. Wait. What? You want to talk? Now? When we could be..." Rodney nodded towards the beds. "It's not that I don't want to," John nodded towards the beds as well, grinning, "but I think that before we take that step I should... come clean about a few things." "Come clean?" Rodney asked frowning. "Just please don't tell me you've been hired to find out if I'd cheat on my fiancée," he said half-jokingly. John snorted. "No, I haven't." "That's good. Not that I'd care. I passed the test... in a way and would still be free to do what I want now." Rodney thought for a moment. "Of course, if it were the case you would have faked everything that happened between us so I guess we wouldn't be... Do they actually sleep with people or just go far enough to prove that they would?" "I, uhm, not sleeping I think," John said. "Anyway, I haven't been sent to seduce you. I only... I haven't planned... this," he gestured between them. "I really... This has never happened to me before. I mean, I've had relationships before but this..." He drifted off, just looking at Rodney and Rodney nodded because he understood exactly what John was saying. As one, they moved together again. Their kiss was more gentle this time. They tasted each other, slow explorations of lips and tongue and the heat of their mingled breaths. Rodney would never get enough of this. He wanted to hole himself up with John in this hotel room and stay forever. They had a bath and room service. It wasn't a bad plan. Eventually they drew apart to look at each other. Rodney was pretty sure his eyes looked as glazed as John's. He'd have felt smug if he wasn't so happy. He moved his hand down John's arm and took his hand. "Let's go to bed," he suggested quietly. John nodded, but when Rodney took a step and pulled him along, he frowned and stood his ground. "There are things I haven't told you," he said almost as if to himself before looking at Rodney. "You want to tell me about what happened to you at Wraith?" Rodney asked calmly. John nodded. "And am I right in assuming that this probably won't be foreplay material and also might take a while?" John nodded apologetically. "Then tell me tomorrow after the presentation. We can talk all afternoon. But I don't think I could go to bed tonight and not touch you," Rodney admitted. "I want to touch you so badly." John looked at him, amazed, and lifted his hand to cup Rodney's face. "Okay," he said and quickly kissed Rodney again. "I want to touch you too." Another kiss, deeper. "I want to do so many things with you." The next kiss was longer, more desperate. "I never... God, Rodney, I've known you barely more than a day, but I l... This is crazy." "Yeah. I know. Me too. I love you too," Rodney said, almost breathless between kisses. "God," John sighed. They started kissing again, hard, hands moving as restlessly as their mouths. When Rodney fisted John's shirt, pulling it out of John's pants, John didn't protest, didn't stop. Instead, he swiftly pushed on Rodney's jacket until it slid off and then they were suddenly moving towards the closest bed, John's, kissing and undressing and stumbling into each other in the most pleasurable way. All the want and need and tension of the last day and night came together again as they fell on the bed, pushing off the last of their clothes. Rodney lay half on top of John, one leg between John's, thrusting against him. John's hands moved down Rodney's back, until they possessively cupped his ass and John pushed up, groaning. "Fuck, yeah," Rodney ground out. "Please tell me we have supplies. I need you in me now." It had been a while since anyone had fucked him, but he was pretty sure that he'd never wanted it as badly as now. John moaned into his neck and Rodney started thrusting against him more frantically. "Suitcase," John panted and Rodney could muster just enough control to let John slip out of bed to get it. He was lean and sweaty and completely naked and if Rodney wasn't about to jump him anyway, the sight of John bending over to retrieve lube and condoms would certainly have done it. Then John turned around, a happy grin on his flushed face, erection standing up proud, and Rodney couldn't remember ever feeling this way, a mixture of raw lust and the need to enfold John in his arms and keep him there forever. Love. He swallowed and then John was back in the bed and Rodney's arms, kissing him. Rodney spread his legs and stroked his feet up John's calves. Their kisses heated up again. Their bodies moved together. Skin was gliding against skin, tongue pushing against tongue, and soon Rodney was more than ready to move things to the next level. He took John's hand and wormed it between them, past his hard dick and heavy balls. "Are you trying to tell me something?" John drawled. Rodney gave him an impatient look that was enough to get John to finally put a move on. He applied some lube to his fingers and Rodney bit his lip, anticipating the intrusion. John's fingers felt huge and Rodney tried to relax and remember how much it was worth it. "You okay?" John asked, not stopping the slow back and forth as he stretched Rodney. Rodney nodded. "Just been a while." John nodded in understanding. He worked his fingers a bit deeper, looking at Rodney with wet parted lips. Rodney tried to steel himself for the moment but when John found his prostate he was still wholly unprepared for the pleasure that shot through him, leaving him jerking helplessly. "Stop," he managed to bring out. John stilled immediately, concern forming on his face. "I meant," Rodney took a deep breath, "if you continue, this is going to be over very soon." A smile spread across John's face. He removed his fingers, applied some more lube and went back with three fingers. This time he stayed away from Rodney's prostate, concentrating on stretching him, preparing him for John's hard dick. Rodney could see it standing up and he couldn't wait to have it inside of him. "I'm gonna be okay," he said. John looked at him for a moment, as if he was considering asking if Rodney was sure, but then he pulled out his fingers. He wiped his fingers on his thighs to open the packet and then slowly rolled the condom over his cock. Rodney licked his lips and pulled back his legs. John leaned forward to get a pillow, giving Rodney a quick, wet kiss along the way. Rodney rolled backward as best as he could while John placed the pillow below his ass. Holding his legs by his knees, Rodney watched John coat his condom-covered dick with lube. The sight of the sure strong grip and the anticipation of having that hand around his own dick and that dick in his ass made Rodney twitch in the best possible way. John positioned himself, pulling Rodney's cheeks apart, and started to push into Rodney. Even with the preparation and the conscious effort to relax, Rodney felt stretched to the maximum as John kept going and going in one steady push until he was fully inside of Rodney. He kept still and let Rodney take a few calming breaths, hands stroking his thighs. When the mental mantra of So full, so full turned from panic to excitement in Rodney's head, he whispered, "I'm ready," and braced himself. John slowly pulled almost out, holding onto Rodney's thighs, then waited and gave Rodney a look that seemed to bore into him. The look was almost as intimate as John's dick in his ass. John thrust back in, fast and deep and Rodney moaned. They started a rhythm, steady like a heartbeat, in and in and in. Every thrust brought them both closer, but Rodney needed more. He wrapped his feet around John and pulled him down for a kiss. He had to lean up a bit and he feared his back would complain the next day, but to feel John's tongue against his as he fucked him was glorious. They kept kissing like this until their thrusts became more urgent. John started to change the angle and then he hit Rodney's prostate dead on and Rodney clawed his hands into John's back and threw back his head, shouting "John". John didn't stop, didn't slow down, instead he nailed that spot inside Rodney with a series of sharp thrusts that left Rodney writhing and moaning. Precome was leaking onto his stomach and he knew he was going to come soon and hard. He was completely helpless, hands threatening to slide off John's sweaty back as John moved above and into him relentlessly. He looked at Rodney, a drop of sweat pooling at the tip of his nose. "John." Rodney hardly recognized his own voice, but John heard him because suddenly there was a shift and a hand around his dick and the next thrust was so deep and hard that it cleanly lifted him off his pillow and right into a higher sphere of existence. Rodney was hardly aware that he came and came and somewhere along the way John came with him, calling Rodney's name. He was slowly coming down, like a leaf falling, kissing the ground—kissing John. John pulled out and moved from the bed and Rodney closed his eyes for a moment, taking deep calming breaths. When he opened his eyes again, John was there with a towel, quickly cleaning him up and tossing it aside, before he slipped into bed next to him. Rodney was still out of breath, so he didn't say anything. Not that he had any words that would adequately describe how good that had been. They wriggled under the sheets and put the pillow back, lying sideways and looking at each other. They didn't say anything, just let the eyes wander over each other's faces. A smile tugged on John's lips and Rodney smiled back, satisfied and very happy. He moved his hand towards John's and John took it in his. Rodney's eyes became heavy and he closed them once, twice and fell into a peaceful sleep. ~~ Rodney awoke to someone nibbling on his neck, which was a bit disconcerting even if it didn't feel bad. Then he remembered the previous night and smiled. He opened his eyes and turned towards John. "There you are," John said. "I've been trying to wake you up." "You could have shaken me," Rodney suggested playfully. Then he suddenly panicked and looked at the nightstand. "Damn, I've forgotten to ask for a wake-up call again." "We still have an hour," John pointed out. "I have to shower, eat breakfast—and not a hasty one like yesterday; I can't give presentations on an empty stomach—and I'll have to be there before the first attendees arrive." "Right, okay," John said. "So I guess morning sex is out of the question." Rodney looked down John's naked body as far as it was visible then back up. "Only today," he assured John. John grinned, obviously satisfied with the answer. They showered together, but with a minimum of non-washing touches. Afterwards they hastily toweled and dressed, each by himself. "I guess the honeymoon's over," Rodney mused and he buttoned up his shirt. "We've been together for just over ten hours and already all romance is gone from our lives." John glared at him then stepped closer to swiftly do Rodney's tie. "Do you want me to show you how much I still want you or do you want to be at your presentation with a full stomach and on time?" Rodney thought about it, but responsibility won out for the moment. He sighed regretfully. "You could kiss me as a reminder," he suggested. John grinned and obeyed with a quick, chaste kiss on Rodney's mouth and then they were off to have breakfast. ~~ People slowly showed up for his presentation. Katie and Todd, his boss, sat in the first row. John had said he'd rather sit in the back. John's model and Rodney's slides were prepared. Rodney felt the adrenaline of his upcoming presentation. He was quite proud of his work and now would finally be able to share his genius with his peers, if you could call them that. He nodded at a few familiar faces as they passed to get to their seat. Eventually, it was time to start. As expected the room was not even half-full, but Rodney didn't care so much about the size of the crowd as the quality. He began and soon felt himself in that state of mind where he was one with the knowledge that he wanted to impart. He looked at the crowd, but never stayed long enough on a face to let it break his concentration. He registered the confusion and admiration, skepticism and excitement. When he finished, there was applause, but what really mattered would be the result of his presentation. A few people came up to him and he talked briefly with them, taking a few business cards. Then he walked over to Katie and Todd. "A very good presentation," Todd said, smiling. "I wouldn't have expected anything less of you, of course, Rodney. You were always one of our best." Rodney nodded and gave him a thin-lipped smile. "If you'll excuse me for a moment," Todd said. "Of course," Rodney said, turning to Katie. "I loved how you included the model. I've never understood what you meant as well as today," she said. "Thank you. Although I can't take credit for that. It was actually..." he looked up at the back of the room, where John was approaching, "John's idea," Rodney finished. He could see the brief moment of realization and hurt in Katie's eyes, before she smiled politely. Rodney looked at John, who hesitated a bit as if asking if he should come closer. "Katie," Rodney said, loud enough for John to hear, "I want you to meet someone." Katie turned in the direction Rodney had looked. John came to stand next to her. He gave her a polite smile. "Katie Brown, John Sheppard," Rodney said, looking at them respectively. "Hello," John said and stretched out his hand, which she took. "Hello," Katie said. "Rodney... mentioned you." And okay, this was awkward. Really awkward. "I should get the model," John suggested quickly. "Yes!" Rodney answered at once. John nodded at Katie and walked off towards the stage. Rodney watched him go, then turned back to Katie. "He seems nice," she said, her chin held up high. Rodney felt terrible. Maybe he could have waited to tell her, but truthfully, he didn't think it would have been any less painful a week, month or year from now. And he couldn't have waited a year. The only thing he might have done differently was not to tell her about John and introduce them. But she would have found out sooner or later and had come to her conclusions. This way at least, he hadn't lied to her. "He is," Rodney agreed, although nice was not one of the first things in his mind when he thought about John. Of course, the reason for that could be that nice wasn't very important to him. It should have been a warning sign that nice was one of the words he associated with Katie. "Did you sleep all right last night?" he asked in an attempt at small talk. A flash of hurt crossed Katie's face and Rodney winced inwardly. "I slept all right," she said and Rodney chose not to continue that topic. "Uhm, I hear there's a nice booth with the latest in environmental protection. I hear Taranis has made some great progress this year," he said, quickly looking at the stage to see how John was doing. "Yes, I will take a look this afternoon. And I'll visit Dr. Norina's presentation." "That's great," he said, looking away again, only to finally see John coming over with the model in hand. He said a silent prayer of thanks. "We'll have to pack up the model and... The next presenter will come shortly." "Of course," she said. "It was nice to... have met you," she told John, who quickly smiled. Then she turned and left. "She seems nice," John said. Rodney wasn't sure if he should laugh or glare at him. He settled on taking a deep breath. "Let's go." They turned to take the side exit when suddenly Todd appeared in their way. He smiled widely, first at Rodney, then at John. Rodney could see John tense, gripping the model harder than before. "John Sheppard," Todd said very friendly. "It's so good to see you again. We've been looking for you. We had feared that something might have... happened to you." A chill ran down Rodney's spine. He'd never really warmed up to the Wraith family, but of the bunch Todd seemed to be the most human. But apparently, he too had the innate ability look at you as if he wanted to have you for lunch. "No, I'm good," John said evenly. "No need to be concerned about me. I can take care of myself." Todd smiled. "And I see you have... met Rodney," he said, making Rodney flush a bit because it sounded as if he knew exactly to what extent their relationship went. "I have," John said. "I thought his presentation today was very interesting. It should make it much easier to integrate the technology of the companies that you buy. Tell me, when do you plan on putting Rodney's ideas to practical use. I'm sure the employees of those companies would love to keep working on their products instead of being laid off." Todd's smile faltered. "I see that you haven't changed. So full of ideas, so out of touch with reality. It's a shame. You were brilliant. You had a bright future ahead of you." "You mean like Tom Holland?" John challenged him. Todd smiled again. "I'm sure he's happy where he is now." John clenched his jaw and even though Rodney didn't know what or who they were talking about, he could see that John was about to get angry and possibly violent. He put a hand on John's arm. "Why don't we go and take the model upstairs? The next presentation will begin shortly." John turned to him, looking for a moment as if he had forgotten that Rodney had been there. He took a few calming breaths and then said, "Yes. Let's go upstairs." "Todd," Rodney said in farewell, while John gave Todd another icy stare. They quickly walked away. When Todd called after them, "It was very good to finally see you again, John," Rodney kept his hand on John's arm to keep him from turning around and possibly re-decorating Todd's face with his model. In the elevator, John stared ahead of him, stone-faced. Rodney didn't say anything. He'd known there was a history between John and Wraith, but this went way beyond what he'd expected and he was suddenly genuinely worried about what John might tell him about them. Of course, at this point, he didn't have a choice in the matter. He'd promised John to listen and he wouldn't break his promise. ~~ After John had set the model on the desk in their room, he didn't turn. Rodney didn't quite know what to do. He wanted to comfort John—because the memories were obviously upsetting to him—but he was a bit afraid that John might lash out without realizing it. "John?" he asked carefully. For a moment, John didn't react then he slowly turned to Rodney. Rodney put a hand on his arm. "Are you all right?" John seemed to think about that, looking away before his gaze returned and focused on Rodney. "Yes. Well, no. I can never be okay with what happened, but I'm okay now. Here, with you." Rodney gave him a quick uncertain smile, then he went ahead and hugged John. John hugged him back fiercely for a few seconds, then let go. When he looked at Rodney again, he looked more focused. "You're ready to hear my story now?" Rodney didn't exactly feel ready, but he nodded anyway. "Maybe you should sit down," John suggested. Rodney's eyes widened, but he sat down on his bed, looking up at John. "You remember the prototype I talked about, the one extracting zero-point energy from subspace?" John asked. "Yes?" Rodney asked, confused. "I built it at Wraith," John said. Rodney's jaw dropped. Then he shook his head. "What? No, you... you can't have. I can't even begin to think about the models that you'd have to invent for that. It would take a lifetime if it ever works at—" "Six years actually," John interrupted him. "And a team of brilliant physicists, mathematicians and engineers." Rodney stared at him. He couldn't believe this. "That's not. It can't be. Even if you somehow managed to do it... Why have I never heard of this? Why has the world not heard of this? If Wraith had that technology, they could rule the world." "No, they couldn't. Not with my contract," John said. "What do you mean?" Rodney asked. "I knew how powerful a ZPM would be, but I'm not in it for the power—or the money. I wanted to find a new safe, clean energy source. For everyone. So I went to Wraith with my idea and under the condition that they made the technology available to everyone for a reasonable licensing fee." "Okay," Rodney said. "That's... very noble of you, but I still don't see why I never heard of this. If it took you six years to build a prototype, I doubt that anyone in the world could have had a working system for quite a while. Wraith would have been the first on the market, and simply based on their resources the best for many years to come if not decades. And I'm assuming those 'reasonable' licensing fees are high enough to cover some of the substantial costs of the development. There is no reason for them not to go public with it." "That's what I thought. Until I realized that it's not in Wraith's interest to provide the world with energy. You know that Wraith is in the energy business as well. And they would make a lot of money with ZPMs. But once the technology is out of their hands, it would give others an opportunity to play too. Wraith have their hands in resources all over the world, but ZPM energy is something that they couldn't control and I completely underestimated their need to control." "Control?" Rodney asked. Because what John was saying, sounded suspiciously like a conspiracy thriller. "Yes. With enough energy you can build and produce. Anywhere. Whole new regions in the world could be made accessible or could be regenerated. We have the technology, but we don't have the energy to do it. Wraith's strategy has always been to squash anyone who got in their way and many who didn't. But can you imagine small companies popping up all over the world? Control, Rodney. They simply couldn't afford to lose it." Rodney didn't know what to say. Wraith was well known for practically controlling the whole industry, but Rodney couldn't believe that they would withhold an invention such as John's to make sure they didn't lose any of their power. The idea that they could weigh just the mere risk of competition out of their control against the ability to reduce the world's exploitation of its natural resources and the improvement of millions of lives in the poorest regions of the worlds was so cynical, it was staggering. He thought of Bob and Steve at the annual kick-off meetings, talking about the supremacy of their company in the world. God, he was going to be sick. "That's not all," John said. Rodney's head shot up. There was more? "I had an eight year option written into the contract, allowing me to take my idea elsewhere, should Wraith be unable to build a prototype and make the technology available to the world within that time." "What happened when the time was up?" Rodney asked, although he feared the worst. He thought back to Todd and John's exchange and it occurred to him that the thinly veiled threats might have been more than just posturing. He was beginning to fear for John's life—and now that he knew all of this, his own. "I never let it come to that. After we built the prototype, Wraith dismantled the project. All team members were assigned to new projects. But I wasn't going to just take it all lying down. I had started working for Wraith with the express purpose to build a ZPM. So I confronted Todd, who told me to concentrate on the new project, while they worked out the logistics of how to proceed with the ZPM. But I knew that something was wrong. Tom Holland was the main physicist of the project and he agreed that something was up and told me that the ZPM and any work we'd done on it would never see the light of day. They removed access to all of the files for the project. The ZPM itself was locked up. They even removed any mentions of meetings that were part of the project from the calendars." "They made it disappear," Rodney said, understanding. "So you left and disappeared for two years. Oh, is this what you've suggested to Radek? Are you trying to take your idea to Pegasus?" "Something like that," John said. "But yes, leaving and rebuilding the ZPM from scratch was one idea. And Holland was fully on board with it if it would turn out to be necessary. We discussed how we could do it, both the technical and legal aspects. He wanted me to go public with the story. Initially to find a group of companies to take on the project as a joint venture—because realistically, there are only a few others besides Wraith that have the resources to pull this off. But then he figured we might be able to pressure Wraith into releasing the prototype and documentation immediately, under the conditions that were in my contract." "You wanted to blackmail them into doing the right thing?" Rodney asked, feeling not exactly sympathy with Wraith, but it also didn't quite sit well with him that John would resort to such tactics. "No, I didn't. Wraith was and is so powerful that having them work actively against us would hinder us more than help us. No other company would be able to build a production facility any time soon. And blackmail is never a way to win someone's cooperation. I talked with other project members, but they refused to so much as talk to me from one day to another." "Wraith shut them up," Rodney said. "Yes. Except Holland, who wouldn't be shut up. I feared that he'd not only lose his job, but that they would prevent him from going elsewhere. I wouldn't have put it past them to fabricate a lie about misconduct or security violations. It's easy to destroy someone's reputation." Rodney suddenly thought back to what Todd had said to John earlier. That he was sure that Holland was happy now. "What happened to him?" Rodney asked quietly, dread rising in him. John got a faraway look for a moment. "They killed him," he said. Rodney gasped. "Well, I can't prove it, but he just disappeared one day. Wraith claimed he had quit. There was no reason for me to believe that he'd do that without telling me or anyone else. A few days later, his landlord and his mother got a postcard from Brazil, saying that he'd fallen in love and wouldn't be returning. They could sell everything in his apartment." "And police believed that?" Rodney asked incredulously. "His mother did. I had an analysis made to compare the handwriting with a note I had from him, but the result was inconclusive. I didn't have the support of the family, there was evidence that he was still alive and worst of all I had no real motive. Wraith had fired me after I filed a report with the police and they spread the rumor that I had had a relationship with Holland and was angry that Wraith hadn't forced him to fulfill the notice period of three months when he quit. They made it look like I was after them out of jealousy." "You and Holland never...?" Rodney asked, feeling slightly nauseous at the idea of having to compete with a murdered ex-lover. "No," John said immediately. "Holland was a workaholic and straight. Our relationship was friendly but strictly professional." "So you went into hiding before they could do the same to you?" "Yes. I was tempted to do what Holland had suggested, but I knew that without corroboration from any of my team members the story about the ZPM would sound just too fantastic and actually less plausible than jealousy. The police as good as told me that they'd reinvestigate if I showed them a working ZPM. They'd asked around and talked to a physicist after my initial report." "Who told them that it was impossible," Rodney finished for John, thinking about what he'd said himself. John nodded. "I've been trying to work on the ZPM, but I'm no astrophysicist and Holland was brilliant. It would take a genius to do what he's done." "Well, lucky you, I guess," Rodney said with a grin. He got up and got his computer out of his suitcase and plugged it into the network. "What are you doing?" John asked, standing behind him. "I could help you to build your ZPM and I will. However, helping you take your case to the police may be much simpler. They wanted evidence for the ZPM, right? Let's see if we can give it to them." "Rodney, you won't have access to the files," John pointed out. "Even if I don't, there could be evidence of its existence in the intranet search engine." "The search is based on authorization as well." "But only on group level. They trust higher clearance employees not to do anything with the mere information about the existence of documents. Not to mention that Wraith usually encourages taking a peek at other projects. I can't imagine there are many projects that have been purged like yours. Even abandoned or bought technology is archived, indexed and made accessible." John stared at him. "You mean all I had to do was search for documents?" "Well, I don't know what clearance you had, not to mention that after you were fired you wouldn't have been able to get in at all." "I had level four," John said. Rodney frowned. "That's very low. But you were working exclusively on this project, right?" John nodded. "That might explain it." Rodney started a search for zero-point energy, when suddenly there was a knock on the door. They looked at each other and John was getting out his mobile phone, when they heard Katie's voice calling for Rodney. After a moment, John nodded, phone still in hand half-dialed. Rodney opened the door, half expecting to find a commando of Wraith security drones to storm the room, but Katie was alone. "Rodney, can I please talk to you?" she asked. "Katie, I'm not sure now is a very good time," Rodney answered. "Rodney, please. I just... please give me a few minutes alone with you. I think I deserve that much," she said. Rodney looked back to John who lifted his hands in a 'what can you do' gesture. Rodney didn't know how to tell Katie that there was no chance that he'd change his mind, that even though he liked her a lot, he would never truly love her. But he couldn't deny her this talk after what he'd done to her. And a small part of him found it admirable that she wasn't going to give up so easily after all. "After you," he told her and she smiled relieved and walked towards the elevator. "Lock the door after me," Rodney said to John and followed her. ~~ "How much do you actually know about John?" Rodney was stunned by this question, because it wasn't at all what he'd expected her to ask. "What?" "John Sheppard. You met him... just two days ago, right? He offered to share his room and you got... closer." "Uhm, yes, that's what happened." "No, Rodney, it isn't," she said sadly. "Yes, it is," Rodney said, having no idea what she was getting at. "Did you know that he worked for Wraith?" Katie asked. Rodney was taken aback. This was about John's work? "Yes, I know. He told me." "Did you know that he was fired, because he was caught trying to steal company knowledge?" "That's—" he stopped himself from defending John, because there was something much larger at play here. "Who told you this?" "Todd talked to me," Katie said. Rodney couldn't believe this. They must have suspected that John would tell Rodney the truth and now they tried to discredit him through his ex-fiancée. Just an hour ago he wouldn't have thought it possible for Wraith to stoop so low. But now it almost should have been expected. "Katie," he said, putting his hands on her arms. "You cannot trust Todd. It's true that John was fired, but he didn't do anything wrong other than questioning Wraith." He didn't want to go into too much detail, because the less Katie knew the safer she was. "Oh, Rodney. Can't you see that he's lying to you?" "That's not true. You don't know what—" "He's been lying to you from the start. Your meeting wasn't an accident," she said. Rodney dropped his hands and took a step back. "What are you talking about?" "Wraith regularly do a check for their hotel reservations before conventions and everything was fine," she told him. "I know. But there could have been a computer glitch or someone giving away my room after the check." "Or John could have arranged that our room would be gone," she said. "That's ridiculous," Rodney said. Katie moved away to the desk and picked up a few photos. She held up the first one, showing John talking to the desk clerk that had been unable to find his reservation. "It's dated," Katie pointed out and Rodney scanned the corner of the photo to find the date and time of approximately two hours before he'd arrived at the hotel. This was insane. "Who gave you this? Todd?" "Yes," she confirmed. "It could be fake," he said, although he didn't sound quite convinced. It did look like John and the desk clerk, and John was wearing the same outfit he'd worn when they first met. The time could have easily been faked, but that would mean that John must have gone to the reception later and they'd been together practically all the time. Except for when he'd talked to Radek, he suddenly recalled. John might have gone to the reception to ask for a room for Rodney again or any other reason. "Then how do you explain this?" Katie asked, and held up the second photo. It showed John on the phone in front of the Ferris wheel, while it was being constructed. It was dated the morning of the day they met. "He did not just arrive when you were at the reception," she said. Rodney just stared at the photo. There had to be an explanation. So John had been there earlier that day. Maybe he simply hadn't checked in until later. He hardly dared to tell Katie that explanation, afraid of what the rest of the photos might show him. "What are you saying?" he finally asked. "Or rather, what is Todd saying?" Katie looked at him with compassion and pity. "Todd thinks that John is an industry spy who's trying to finish the job he started when he was fired. He thinks John used you to get access to the Wraith network and he's going to sell his information to Pegasus." Before Rodney could let the accusation sink in, Katie pulled out the last photograph, showing John at the Pegasus booth while it was still being decorated. Rodney didn't have to look at the timestamp to know that it had to have been taken before they'd met and before Rodney had thought he'd introduced John to Radek. He suddenly recalled Radek's somewhat peculiar reaction to John and their talk at the booth when John had been defensive and told him tomorrow. God, it couldn't be true. He didn't want to believe that it was true, but now that he thought more about it, he remembered John's nonchalance as he broke into both the conference room and the puddlejumper. All weekend long John had tried to make him question his loyalty to Wraith, implying how horrible they were, trying to get Rodney on his side. Even last night, he'd again tried to tell Rodney his story about Wraith before they'd had sex. Last night, the whole weekend, had been incredible. And now Rodney realized that it probably was because it was not credible. It had felt too good to be true. He wanted to say that John couldn't have lied to him, that the feelings between them had to be real but Rodney feared it would sound like desperation, like the pathetic proclamations of gullible idiots who were seduced and woke up in empty apartments. If Todd was right and John was an industry spy on this scale, acting had to be one of his many skills. Rodney supposed that even sex was just an inconvenience, easily dealt with to get the data he wanted. And before Katie had come, Rodney had entered the company network, willing to find any information that John asked for. It all made horrible sense. Rodney walked over to one of the beds and sat down. "I'm sorry that he made you believe that he was in love with you. He did that at Wraith too, back then. He seduced someone named Holling," she said. "Holland," Rodney corrected her absent-mindedly. The humiliation of having fallen for a thief was bad enough. The "coincidental" but actually very unlikely situation in which they'd met should have tipped Rodney off immediately. But all alarm bells should have begun ringing when John had asked Rodney to change his life for him. Instead, he'd fallen head over heels in love, buying every touch and every gesture. John had probably researched Rodney to be able to make references like the one about racing cars and everything else that had made Rodney feel so comfortable around him. Rodney suddenly thought about his own musing that John could be an axe murderer for all he knew. He wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or cry. "I'm so sorry," Katie said, sitting down next to him and putting an arm around him. "He's a real professional. You shouldn't be ashamed of what happened. And I'll forgive you," she added. Rodney suddenly felt cornered by her and stood. He might have fallen hook, line and sinker for a crook, but his realization about Katie couldn't be undone by John's betrayal. "I'm... I have to go," he said. "Where do you want to go?" Katie asked, getting up as well. "You're not going back to him, are you?" Rodney thought about facing John. Part of him never wanted to see him again and just wanted to forget that they'd ever met. But another part wouldn't let John get away with this. He'd left him alone with his computer. Right now John would only be able to access the search results, not the documents themselves. And Rodney wanted to be the one to tell John to his face that all his efforts of lying and the undoubted sacrifice of pretending to be attracted to Rodney and sleeping with him would be in vain. "As a matter of fact I am," he said with angry determination. He stormed out of the room, only to be faced with Todd and two of the Wraith security detail. "Rodney," he said with a smile. Rodney gave him an angry look. "I'm going to Sheppard. You can come with me or stay here, I don't care." And then he was off, only faintly aware of the others following. ~~ "Rodney, I've actually found some of the docu—" John stopped and his face fell when he saw Rodney entering with Todd. "Did you really think you'd get away with it?" Rodney asked him accusingly. John looked shocked and Rodney wanted to finally see the real John Sheppard. He waited for his expression to turn into a superior mask of those who had been caught but still thought they'd find a way out because nothing would ever get them. He waited for John to turn into the evil criminal mastermind that he was. "Rodney, whatever they told you, it's not true," John said earnestly, turning to him. God, couldn't John see that the game was over and he'd lost? Before Rodney could say anything, Todd stepped in. "It's over, John. Don't you see that you don't have a chance against Wraith? Not then and not now." "You're going to kill me like Holland? If I disappear, everything I know will be published," John said, looking unafraid. And he still didn't stop playing his role. It grated on Rodney to see him like this, pretending to be the man that he'd fallen in love with. "I suppose you're referring to the story that you made up to gain Rodney's trust. What did you tell him? That we killed your ex-lover and now you wanted all his research for revenge? Is that how you were going to get access to all the knowledge you were planning to sell?" "What?! You think—" John stopped and turned from Todd to Rodney. "Is that what they told you? That I made up this story so that I could steal from Wraith?" "Please, John," Todd said with an air of superiority. "Don't try to deny something you were caught red-handed in. You convinced Rodney to give you access to these files." He pointed at the computer screen. "I did no such thing!" John denied vehemently. He turned to Rodney again. "I only wanted you to work on the ZPM with me. You offered to look for the files. And if it would have helped to reopen the investigation on Holland's death, I gladly would have taken the offer." That was true, Rodney had to admit. He had brought up the idea of looking for the files. "John, there are pictures of you arranging for Rodney's reservation to get 'lost'. And of you contacting Dr. Zelenka long before you supposedly arrived here to 'accidentally' meet Rodney." John's anger dissipated and he looked quickly at Rodney and away. Rodney's heart fell. Some part of him must have wanted John to convince him that it wasn't true after all. "It's not what you think," John said. "Either of you." He turned to Rodney. "I did arrange for your reservation to get lost." Todd smiled triumphantly. "But it was only to get to know you better. I wanted to see if you would be able to help me build the ZPM. And I had to see if you'd be willing to leave Wraith." "Enough of this nonsense," Todd stepped in. "I think it's time that our security accompany you downstairs until the police arrive." "What do you want to have me arrested for?" John asked. "Unlawful cancellation of a reservation? That I told Rodney the truth?" "Attempt to illegally gain access to classified information," Todd said. "Rodney will back me up on this." Both Todd and John turned to Rodney expectantly, but Rodney had a hard time keeping up with what was being said and what was the truth and what the lie. John had admitted to arranging their meeting, but he was still right that he had never asked Rodney for access to any files. And a part of Rodney desperately wanted to believe that there was another explanation for what John had done. Either way, he wouldn't lie about what happened. "I was the one who offered to look for the files," he admitted. John looked relieved and smiled at Rodney. "That doesn't mean that I trust you," Rodney added sharply, trying not to let that smile get to him. He was still angry. Even if Todd was wrong, John had lied to Rodney and Rodney wanted an explanation and a good one. "Even if he did not ask for the files, those were clearly his intentions," Todd told Rodney. "You can't possibly be so stupid and believe his story? After he lied to you all this time. Do you want to let him get away, based on misguided feelings?" Todd asked, sounding disgusted. Rodney's eyes narrowed. He hated being called stupid, hated it even more so because it wasn't entirely without merit. And the accusation that after all that happened he'd still let his feelings guide him—something which he might never be able to do again after today—stung. But he also wouldn't go to the other extreme and lie about what happened just to get John in jail. "I will tell the police everything that has happened, nothing more, nothing less." John sighed in relief and gave Todd a triumphant smile. Rodney's jaw clenched. "That includes you breaking into the conference room and the puddlejumper," he pointed out, looking coldly at John. "Oh, so you're a common thief too," Todd noted arrogantly. John ignored him and turned to Rodney instead. "I broke into neither. I had the key to both." "So you stole those," Todd pointed out. "I own both because the puddlejumper is mine as is a third of this hotel," he said. What?! Rodney turned to Todd, who looked as surprised as Rodney felt. "You're the owner of Pegasus," Todd said with an eerie calm. Then it clicked what he'd said. Rodney turned to John. Of course. The love for the Ferris wheel, John's idealism which even Rodney had kept associating with what Pegasus stood for, Radek's odd behavior and both of their insistence that Rodney would get along fine with the owner, paired with the unwillingness to reveal who he was. "Radek told me about you and I wanted to meet you to see if you're as good as he thinks. I wasn't disappointed," John said, smiling at Rodney. "Rodney, this doesn't change the fact that he lied to you. He can spin all the tales that he wants, but he lied to you and seduced you to gain your trust and access to our network," Todd said and though it sounded calm, Rodney could feel the worry inching towards desperation. "I had originally planned to tell you the truth as soon as I offered you a job," John explained. "I thought it would be a done deal that same evening. When I found out about your reluctance to leave Wraith I had to keep up the charade a bit longer. I couldn't risk telling you the truth about my project without knowing I could trust you not to go to Wraith with my plans and my identity. And I was no longer sure I could convince you to work for me without telling you my story. So I had to keep trying and I didn't tell you who I was because I was afraid you wouldn't listen to someone actively trying to hire you." Rodney could actually see that. He probably would have stopped talking to John if he'd told him the truth, well the part about being the owner of Pegasus, that first night. "And I hope that I don't have to tell you that what happened between us had nothing to do with our jobs or Wraith or anything other than... two people falling in love," John continued, looking straight at Rodney. "How very touching," Todd said sarcastically. "Do you honestly think that Rodney will fall for that? Rodney, you can't believe that he saw you and decided that that was what he wanted." Rodney was about to question the intelligence of trying to appeal to him by insulting him, when John spoke up. "I wouldn't expect you to understand it, Todd. Has anyone in the Wraith family ever been in love? Have you ever met someone who made you feel as if you belonged and were accepted not for your money or your power but for you? Have you ever met someone who made you feel so right that you would do almost anything to keep them around? Do you know what it feels like to be trusted so much that someone is willing to change their whole life for you?" Rodney didn't quite know what to say. John had directed his words at Todd, but he was talking about Rodney and what he said was restoring Rodney's faith in what had grown between them and his faith in the world—a faith he hadn't known he had before this weekend. He stepped up to John and put a hand on his shoulder. John turned to him and his eyes were full of love. Rodney smiled. He wasn't sure what was going to happen and they would certainly have to have a talk about honesty and trust and all of this, but the one thing that Rodney was certain of again was John's love. There was a click and Rodney and John turned to be faced with a gun pointed at them. Rodney gasped and his heart began to beat faster. Then John pushed him behind him. "Todd, I already told you that everything I know will be released when I disappear. People saw us talking after Rodney's presentation. Are you really willing to take the fall for Wraith? You can't think they'll help you out. In fact I'm willing to bet that they'd happily blame you for all of it." "Oh, I know they would. So I'll have to give them someone else to blame. What a tragedy. A delusional billionaire who once turned a bit crazy after his lover left him, now falls in love again, only to be rejected when the object of his affection realizes that he's lost his mind and only wants to recreate his past by going after someone with the same job at the same company. He goes crazy and kills his new lover and realizing what he's done, kills himself, leaving only his delusional tale to the world." "Okay, let's talk," John said, more calmly than Rodney could even begin to understand. He lifted his hands in placating gesture and took a step towards Todd. Rodney kept close behind him. "You don't want to kill us. I could give you what you really want. Complete power to do with the ZPM technology what you want and more importantly the power to give or not give it to whom you want." "That's a bad bluff. We both know that you'd never do that," Todd said. "Are you sure? Given the choice between death and living a comfortable life with Rodney on a far-away island, I think I could be tempted to live," John said, coming another step closer. Todd seemed to consider that. Rodney himself wasn't sure if John was serious. He had to admit that given the choice between death and just about anything Rodney would choose the latter. But for John to give up his ideals to live and be with Rodney? He wasn't so sure, even if he did believe that John loved him. Suddenly, John moved and before Rodney knew what was happening the gun flew out of Todd's hand and under the bed. John was struggling with Todd, so Rodney went to look for the gun when suddenly Todd's henchmen stormed in. Todd hit the ground after John scored a direct hit with his fist on Todd's chin. John winced and held his hand for a second, taking a few quick steps back, away from the henchmen that were approaching him. Rodney had been hidden from their view and seeing the two closing in on John, quietly looked under the bed, only to find that the gun had skittered all the way under his own bed out of his reach. He heard the sound of impact and then John's groan. Rodney winced in sympathy and looked up from behind the bed. Each henchman was holding one of John's arms against the cupboard, while one of them hit him. Both of their faces were turned from Rodney, so he could slowly get up and look around. His gaze fell on the model and he picked it up and carefully walked over, hitting the model over the head of John's tormentor with as much power as he could muster. The other henchman turned to Rodney. Rodney quickly covered his face against the impending impact, when instead of a fist in his face, he heard the dull sounds of bodies connecting, followed by a painful wail, before something large thudded to the ground. Rodney opened his eyes and saw John looking down at the henchman, who was cradling his balls. Ouch. John looked at him, almost in exhilaration. "Let's go," he said, taking Rodney's arm. But Rodney shook his head. "We can't just leave. If we go now, we'll have nothing against them. They'll probably put out a bounty for us for industrial espionage after this." "Rodney, I don't think it will take long until someone comes looking for them." Rodney ignored him and went to his computer. "Make sure that none of them do anything stupid," he told John. John hesitated for a moment, then nodded. "Where is Todd's gun?" "Under my bed," Rodney said, without turning around. He went to the login screen to gain access to the documents of his clearance level, then he turned to Todd who was still lying unconscious next to the desk. He got up and pulled Todd closer. "What are you doing?" John asked. Rodney turned to him. "I won't have access to the ZPM research, but I bet he does." "I don't think asking him to log in is going to work," John said sarcastically. Rodney grinned. He lifted Todd's hand and waved it over the little sensor in his computer. Bingo. John came closer. "What was that?" "Wraith high level authentication. It's a subcutaneous transmitter built into their skin." "Wow, they didn't have that when I was there," John said. "Actually, I'm pretty sure they did. You just wouldn't have known about it." John was about to answer when there was a movement behind him. Rodney's eyes widened and it was enough to alert John to turn around and hit the henchman with the butt of the gun. "Rodney, I really think we should go now," John said. Rodney turned to the computer and quickly typed. "I'll just download everything that has the highest clearance level." "How much data is that? That could take—" John was interrupted by his phone. He picked up and listened. "Okay," he said. "We'll need a few more minutes. Oh, and Todd and two Wraith security people are here. Yes, we're fine. Yes, do that." Then he hung up again. "Bob and Steve and a whole bunch of Wraith security are on their way." "Can't you call hotel security and tell them to stop them?" Rodney asked, watching as the download began. "Wraith is the main sponsor of this event. They'd let them handle whatever is going on. They don't have a reason not to trust them." "But aren't you their boss or something?" Rodney asked. "I own part of the hotel, but that's not public knowledge and I don't want it to be. I get the general key to all public rooms, but that's it." "So you weren't pulling strings when you botched my reservation," Rodney asked. "That was mostly my charm. I did mention that I'd take all responsibility and would talk to the manager, if she got into trouble for playing along." Rodney looked at him. "You know, you could have just let Radek introduce us. It's not like I wouldn't have been curious enough to at least talk to you," he said, because he was still unhappy about John's subterfuge. "I know. Everyone wants to meet the owner of Pegasus. And that's exactly why I like to meet new employees before they know who I am. I want them to react to me as a person, not my money or power. And it's important to me to know how they'll relate to colleagues or even subordinates. Everyone is nice to the boss, even though you probably wouldn't have been from all I've heard, but I wanted to see how you'd react to a stranger." John's phone rang again before Rodney could say anything to that. "Okay," John said again. "We're on our way out." He hung up. "We are?" Rodney asked, looking at the download which was about seventy-five percent done. "Radek managed to stop the elevators, but they're coming up the stairs. Let's go." John put a hand on Rodney's arm. "It's not yet done. I don't know which information we have." "Chances are if they get to us, it won't matter either way," John said, giving him a look. "Okay," Rodney said. He unplugged the computer and they hurried out. "Where to?" he asked John, but John was already dragging him towards one end of the corridor. "Private elevators," John said. He fumbled with his keys as they ran. Suddenly, there was a noise behind them. Rodney turned around and at the end of the corridor, he could see Wraith security people running towards them, closely followed by two people, who judging from their tall stature were probably Bob and Steve. "Don't let them escape," he heard faintly, or maybe it was just his imagination. He looked ahead and they finally reached the elevator door. John put his key in the lock when a bullet struck the wall next to them. Rodney stood completely frozen. Nobody had ever shot at him. Just three feet and he would have been hit. He could be dead. Then he was pulled into the elevator and the door closed. "Rodney?" John asked, putting his hands on Rodney's face. "Are you all right?" "They shot us," Rodney said weakly. John's eyes widened and he looked at Rodney's body, opening up his jacket to check for wounds. "I'm okay," Rodney finally managed. "I meant... they shot at us." "They're trying to kill us," John explained gently. He cupped Rodney's face and kissed him softly. "But they're not going to succeed," he added decisively. Rodney nodded, unable to do anything but trust John, because at this point he was out of his depth and out of options. They were fighting for their lives and if there was one thing he knew, it was that he wanted them both to live and that John wanted the same. Rodney moved the hand that was not holding the computer to John's. John took it and looked at him, squeezing Rodney's hand in reassurance. The elevator made a sound, alerting them that they'd arrived at their destination and John peered out. The coast was clear. They were in a basement level and John dragged him through a white corridor until they reached a small staircase. They went up the stairs and came out in the pool area, next to the changing room. Rodney had no idea what John was planning. John took one of the waterproof boxes and gestured for Rodney's computer. Rodney handed it over. "Get out of your clothes," John said, while sealing up the computer. There was a shout from the entrance of the room and Rodney could see people backing away, even as he slipped off his shoes and jacket. "They're here," John said unnecessarily. "Okay, that's enough, get in the water and to the puddlejumper." "What?!" Rodney asked. "Rodney, you have to trust me," John pleaded. Rodney took one second, then nodded and jumped into the water. He swam to the first underwater air tank to get some air. He could see some of the aquavendors nearby staring at his clothed state, but he really was only interested in whether John was behind him. He turned and for a few horrible seconds couldn't see him. He didn't know what he'd do if John didn't come. He could maybe make it to the puddlejumper, but he'd never get inside and even if he did, he'd just sit in the unfinished prototype and wait for the Wraith people to show up and take him with them or shoot him on sight in 'self-defense' or whatever they'd make up. If they had to die, he'd at least like to do it with John at his side. There was a splash ahead of him and Rodney could see John, clad in his white shirt, boxers and black socks, the computer in one hand. When he saw Rodney, he gestured at him to move, so Rodney took a deep breath and swam on. At about two-thirds of the distance, John had caught up with him and in the air tank he told Rodney to get out of his pants. Rodney did, which made it easier to swim. Just before they arrived at the jumper, Rodney turned around, only to see Wraith henchmen following them. One caught his eye and lifted his gun. Rodney watched him fire, but the bullet didn't make it further than a few feet. The henchman lowered his gun in irritation. Rodney quickly turned around and went the rest of the way where John was opening the puddlejumper. John climbed inside and pulled Rodney up after him. He closed the hatch, put the computer aside and went to sit in the pilot's seat. "You're going to fly this thing?" Rodney asked incredulously. "It'll work," John said, but he was frowning as he hurriedly clicked a few buttons. "Okay." He pressed another button—and waited. "Dammit," he said, beginning to click buttons again. "We're going to die, right?" Rodney said. He turned towards the back, but there was no window through which he could check on the progress of their pursuers. "Come on," John said desperately. "What is wrong with you?" Rodney went to front, but John was already getting up and running to the back. He opened up a panel in the wall. "Where is the damn connection to the back?" "What's going on?" Rodney asked. "This should be working, but the engine doesn't get the signal to start. I have no idea why." Rodney spotted a little box hanging on a cable in the wall. "Could this be the problem?" John rushed to him and took a look. He hit the wall in answer. "Guess someone was too lazy to bring a generator for the information display," Rodney said. Then he remembered that they were going to die. "Okay, I'll go back out there and get the connector," John said, ready to open up the hatch again. "What!? Are you insane? They're going to kill you." "Not if I'm fast enough," John said with determination. Then his gaze dropped. "And if I don't make it—" "No!" Rodney shouted. "We are not having this conversation. What kind of brilliant plan was this anyway? Dragging us into a death trap!" "The jumper can fly," John insisted. "I just need the connectors to get it to start." "Okay, show me," Rodney said. "What?! Rodney, we don't have—" "The time. Exactly. You wanted to hire me because I'm a genius, so let me be a genius and give you an option that's not suicide. You know you can't repair this before they get to us." John nodded and went back to the panel. "Here. It's a trivial thing really if you have the connectors. These starters need to be called in sequence. This is the—" "Yeah, yeah," Rodney said, recognizing the set up. "I can just re-route them for now. Can you get me what's left of the wire and a knife?" "Toolbox is here," John said, opening a little compartment. Rodney got out a blade to strip off the insulation. He did a quick and dirty job of connecting the wires through the panel in a way that would simulate the sequence. He didn't have time for more and this only had to work once. John handed him the rest of the wire, already stripped too. "Thanks," Rodney said, working on the last connection. "Oh, you've... Wow," John said, looking over his shoulder. "I still don't see how you'll connect them to the front, though." "That's because I won't. We'll have to do it manually." "You can't! They have to be timed exactly to—" "I know. Trust me, okay. This will work," Rodney said, looking at John. "But we have to move and we only have one shot at this, because I'm pretty sure this'll fry on the first try." John nodded. He hesitated for a second, then quickly kissed Rodney before going back to the front. "On three," he said, once he was seated. Rodney kept his finger on the main starter. John switched a few buttons. "Okay, one, two, three." Rodney hit the switch and removed his hand, seeing sparks. Then he heard the sound of the engine. "It worked!" John shouted. Rodney rushed to him. "Good thinking, genius," John said, smiling widely. "Any half-decent engineer could have done it, given an hour or two," Rodney said, just a bit smug. "You should see me handling physics equations." "I'm looking forward to it," John said, hands flying over the controls. The puddlejumper gave a jolt as it started moving and Rodney took the seat next to John. "I don't suppose this thing has seatbelts?" he asked. "Not yet," John said, pulling a lever that slowly made the jumper lift. "There haven't exactly been a lot of human trials." "How many is not a lot?" Rodney asked cautiously. John nervously turned to him and smiled. "Congratulations, you'll be the first." Rodney's face and stomach fell. "Death trap," he muttered. "She'll fly," John said soothingly and Rodney wasn't sure if it was directed at him or the puddlejumper. Then John turned them around, bringing two Wraith henchmen into view. Rodney jerked in shock. "Damn!" The henchmen smiled and pointed their guns at the front shield. John moved forward, running the jumper into them, but one still managed to fire his gun. John and Rodney looked from the little spot where the glass had been hit to each other. This could be it. But there was no noise of cracking and when they dared to look back, the shield was holding. Rodney sighed loudly in relief and John went to navigate the jumper up and out of the water. When they broke the surface, they nearly crashed into the wall and Rodney covered his eyes, but John managed to maneuver the jumper around and then it hovered in the air. "Okay, this will cost a lot to replace, but I have no choice," John said. Rodney watched as he moved in a small jerky circle above the water and then ran straight towards the glass. "Hold on tight," he shouted and Rodney gripped the console in front of him when they hit and shattered the huge pane that made up one side of the interior pool. After they went through, Rodney turned around on instinct. "Have you ever considered putting windows at the back?" he asked. John looked at him. A smile appeared on his face. "Actually, I haven't. This is why I need you on board. To suggest these things." Rodney turned back to John. "I think I have a word to say about your business practices and conduct with potential employees," he said seriously. John's smile faded. "You weren't just any potential employee. You know that. I needed you—I still need you—to build another prototype for the ZPM." "You lied to me, even after I said yes," Rodney pointed out. John turned his head and looked out at Atlantis City beneath them. "I wanted to tell you the truth. I tried, but you—" "You could have tried harder. I thought you just wanted to get your history with Wraith off your chest. Not that you'd lied from the beginning." John turned to him. "I didn't lie from—" he stopped himself. "I'm sorry. I'm not sure I said it before. I'm really sorry. I didn't expect this. I wanted to talk physics with you, wanted to see if you were all that Radek said you were and then I wanted to make you an offer. That usually works well for me." "I guess I'm not usual," Rodney said. John snorted. "No, you're not." Then he turned sober. "I didn't expect to be so attracted to you. I wanted... the more I got to know you, the more I wanted you both for Pegasus and for me. I couldn't risk losing you for either." "You could have told me after I told Katie and was willing to give it all up for you." "It wasn't just for me, was it?" John asked. "No," Rodney admitted. "But it doesn't change the fact that I tried to do the right thing all weekend long and you kept lying and telling others to do it too." "I told you I had to be sure I could trust you." "Yes, I can understand that," Rodney said, because he did understand that John couldn't share his secret about what happened at Wraith with him before he was certain that Rodney would help him. "But last night after I told Katie, after I'd told you I'd leave Wraith, you could have insisted." "Rodney, you looked at me and told me you needed to touch me. I'm only human. And I was... I am afraid to lose you." He looked at Rodney and Rodney could see the fear in his eyes. "Please tell me we can figure this out." "No more lies," Rodney said decisively. "No more lies," John agreed solemnly. "I promise you. There's a lot you still don't know about me but you will." It was enough for Rodney. He nodded. "As long as it doesn't involve a boyfriend." A thought occurred to him. "What you said about Holland wasn't a lie, was it? You two never..." "No," John assured him. "I haven't really had a lot of serious relationships," he added. "I've been too busy these last couple of years and before that... I was never really sure if they were interested in me or my money." "Oh God. You're John Sheppard, as in Sheppard Utilities." "Yep," John said, looking almost resigned about it. "No wonder you can afford to build nonsense like the Ferris wheel or the puddlejumper." "Hey," John complained. "No putting down the vehicle that saved your life." "Only after I hotwired it," Rodney pointed out. "I saved our lives." John's expression turned soft. "You did." "And you did too," Rodney said quietly. "They could have killed you back at the hotel room." "They didn't," John said. "I'm really glad about that." Rodney leaned over and cupped John's face. "So, I'm forgiven?" John asked hopefully. "Not quite, but I'm sure you can make it up to me if you really try," Rodney said, smiling. "I'm sorry," John said again. "I know. And I didn't mean talking when I said you could make it up to me," Rodney said with a grin and pulled him into a kiss. John kissed back for a second, but gently pulled away again. "It's not that I'm not eager to start making it up to you, but those steering problems I mentioned when we first met..." John said, trailing off. "I should keep both hands on the wheel so to speak." "Just tell me we will make it." Surviving bullets and other assaults only to die in this death trap was nothing Rodney wanted to even contemplate. "We will," John said. Then he quickly leaned over to give Rodney a kiss. Rodney sighed. He was still suspicious of the puddlejumper's abilities, but he trusted John. They'd come close to dying several times today, but always made it out alive. It was hard to imagine that it wouldn't always be like that as long as they were together, which Rodney hoped would be for a long time to come. He looked over at John who gazed out, a pleased expression on his face. "How long have you wanted to fly her?" Rodney asked. John turned to him, a smile playing on his face. "A long time," he said. "We'll finish her," Rodney said matter-of-factly. John's smile turned into a grin. ~~ They landed somewhere outside Atlantis City in a field. Rodney was relieved to finally be on solid ground again. "What now?" he asked John. "Security is on their way. People from Pegasus that I trust." Rodney wondered how long they'd have to be on the run. He didn't like the idea of having to disappear for years, although being with John would make it a lot easier. Then he remembered the computer. He got up and brought it to the front. He opened up the waterproof box, got the computer out and booted it. They searched for zero-point energy in the documents that they'd downloaded, but didn't find anything. "We didn't get everything," Rodney said regretfully. "Maybe it wasn't even on the network anymore," John said. "Don't worry. We can rebuild the ZPM. I know I can do it with your help. That should be proof enough that it can be done and then maybe the police will listen." Rodney scrolled through the list of files. He opened one related to one of their recent takeovers and skimmed over it. Oh God. "They bribed them," he said. "Whom?" John asked. "You remember the Genii takeover? Nobody understood why Cowen suddenly agreed to be bought. They bribed him." John read on. "And they paid him to persuade the others to sell too. That's illegal." "They tried to kill us. You can't tell me you're surprised by this," Rodney said. "I'm not," John said. The he turned to Rodney. "But I didn't think we'd find proof of it." John was right. Anything that they found on Wraith would help them against accusations from Wraith. Rodney opened up the next file. In the files that they'd downloaded, they found evidence of questionable business tactics to downright illegal operations. "Look for Holland," John suddenly said. Several files popped up. One was the actual order to terminate him. The others were the hiring of someone to fake the postcards to his mother and landlord and of someone to spread the rumor about Holland and John's relationship. "This is the proof. We have dates and names," Rodney said. He looked at John, who looked more sad than happy. "It's over." John nodded and gave Rodney a quick smile. "I know. I've always feared that they'd killed him, but I guess some part of me must have hoped that maybe they just had him locked up somewhere, working for them." "I'm sorry," Rodney said. "It's okay. At least now, we know what happened. We can tell his mother and maybe we can recover the body or at least find out where it is." "This is the end of Wraith," Rodney said. Part of him was happy about it, because everything that he'd found out today was horrible. But another part saw it from the point of view of the employees who knew nothing about what the top management had done. His own project team, Katie and all the others, who worked hard and well and who deserved honest employers. "At least as we know it," John said. "You think they'll survive?" "Bob, Steve and Todd and the rest? No. But the company? The people that work there? I hope they find a way to save that." "Well, at least I don't feel conflicted anymore about quitting," Rodney said more lightly. John snorted. Then he got serious. "I want you to know that I would have found a way for us," he said. "John, it's okay. I don't blame you for feeling the way you feel about Wraith. I feel the same." "Still. I don't want you to think that I would have given up on us, even if you'd stayed. I would have come with you to Hive's Landing, maybe not full time, but we would have been together," John insisted. "And as soon as Wraith found out, they would have killed us." John shook his head. "I wasn't a threat as long as there was no chance that I'd build the ZPM. I think they would have left it at trying to put me in jail or even just discredit me further. But when Todd found out that Pegasus belonged to me, he couldn't let me leave." "That's why the secrets? It's not just 'I want them to see me, not my money'?" "That's a terrible impression of me and yes, keeping it a secret from Wraith was part of the reason," John said. "Although, maybe it won't be necessary any longer." "Wraith won't be a threat after we release this," Rodney agreed, pointing to the computer. "And I'm re-thinking my conduct with potential employees," John added with a wry smile. "Also, anyone who's having romantic designs on you, because of your money or otherwise, is just out of luck," Rodney said, just a bit possessively. "Exactly," John said, leaning forward. Rodney met him halfway in a slow, deep kiss. "What do you know, I have my hands free now," John said with a grin. "How long until your security people arrive?" Rodney asked. "Long enough to start making it up to you," John said, getting up. He opened up another panel and a mattress popped out. Rodney raised an eyebrow. "It's for working on the ground," John explained. "Usually, that is." "And we've established that I'm not usual," Rodney said, getting up as well. John started unbuttoning his damp shirt and Rodney quickly walked over to help him out of it. John stopped working on his own shirt. "You're still wearing your tie," he said, taking it in his hand, but not undoing it. "I was a bit busy running for my life and all," Rodney mused. John just looked at the tie for a moment, then turned his gaze to Rodney. "This was the moment I realized that getting you to work for me might not be my highest priority." He slowly undid Rodney's tie. "Doing my tie?" Rodney asked. John nodded. Rodney remembered that moment. And just like then his gaze dipped to John's lips. "It was the first time I thought about kissing you," he admitted. Of course back then—and it was impossible to believe it had been just forty hours ago—his reaction had been surprise. Now he didn't try to restrain himself. He leaned forward and kissed John. John's arms moved around him and under his shirt. Rodney couldn't really wrap his mind around everything that had happened since he'd arrived. His whole life had been neatly planned out until the day he met John Sheppard. Now, not two days later, his old life was gone and instead he had a future with a smart, sexy, dorky man and work that could improve the lives of millions. He wasn't sure what he had done to deserve it. It was like a dream come true, except that he'd never thought he could want more from life. He'd tried to ground his life in reality. But John was right. You needed to dream. Otherwise you couldn't make your dreams come true. John tugged on his sleeve and they moved to the mattress, still kissing. For Rodney, this was just the beginning of his dreams. ~~ Epilogue: "Rodney!" Katie said happily. Rodney smiled when he saw her. "Katie," he said, walking around the booth to hug her in greeting. "It's so good to see you," she said. She looked over his shoulder and Rodney felt John putting an arm around him. "And you," she said, genuinely smiling at John. "Oh, congratulations," she added. "Thank you," they said in unison. "I can't believe you got married in the air," she said. "It wasn't my idea," Rodney said. "Hey," John protested next to him. "But I gladly agreed to it," Rodney added assuasively. "It was a beautiful ceremony." He looked at John, remembering how they'd taken their vows. John pulled him closer until their foreheads touched. Rodney gave him a quick kiss and turned back to Katie. "And one of these days we might actually have time for a honeymoon." "Oh yes. I read about your big project in Time magazine," she said, looking at John. Rodney snorted. "He's jealous that they chose me as Person of the year," John said conspiratorially to Katie. "Oh, please. Of course, they'd jump on your story of The Man who brought down Wraith," Rodney said dismissively. Katie laughed. "Everyone knows your part in it, Rodney. I don't think there's anyone in the world who hears the name Sheppard and doesn't immediately think of McKay." "Oh yes, we're like Batman and Robin," Rodney said sarcastically. "Of course, I'm—" John began. "Batman, I know," Rodney interrupted him, rolling his eyes. "How are you doing?" he asked Katie to change the subject. "I'm good," Katie said. "I'm working a lot. We have so much to do. There were many adjustments and some of them not as easy as others, but Ms Emmagan and Mr Dex are doing a great job at steering Wraith, I mean Athos, in a new direction. Your presence is missed, Rodney," she said, then quickly added as if realizing what she'd said, "Of course, I understand that you wanted to leave Wraith and work with Pegasus after what happened." Rodney smiled understandingly. "I think we'll have the opportunity to work together in the near future," he said. "Really?" she asked, her eyes brightening. "Is this about the big presentation that is planned for tomorrow?" Rodney looked at John for permission, who nodded with an indulgent smile. "I can only give you a small hint," he said to Katie. "But after tomorrow, when we think about powering vehicles, we can stop thinking in terms of aquatic, flight or land." She looked confused. "Those limits won't exist anymore. Tomorrow we can think about flying cities," he finished dramatically. "You're not serious," she said, but sounded unsure. "You'll have to wait and see tomorrow." "I will," she said. "It was good seeing you again," she added, looking towards John as well. She left and Rodney turned to John, who looked like he was trying not to grin. "What?" Rodney asked. "I love when your do your little introduction," he said teasingly. Rodney rolled his eyes. "It's so inspirational," John continued. "Will you stop it?" Rodney said. "Never. Just face it, Rodney. You're a dreamer like the rest of us." Rodney knew that John was trying to get a rise out of him. But it wouldn't work. Not on this. "So?" he asked easily. John's look changed from teasing to happy. He took Rodney's hand. "Let's leave all of this to Laura and Radek and sneak up to our room." He started dragging Rodney away before waiting for an answer. "We could re-enact how we first met," he suggested. Rodney wasn't sure what he meant, because he could certainly do without the memory of being shot at and he definitely wanted more than John properly doing his tie. But just like then, he decided to simply follow John. He had faith that he'd enjoy where John was taking him. |
